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I Hate Brats!!!!

fuck this! i hate the fact that you know how to push my buttons. i try and try to be the bigger person, and act uninterested. that i don't give a fuck. but FUCK!! you're so fucking irritating! i try to be nice with you. and you shoot me down. 7adda mo kafo. ana il bint el kalb elly i try to change things between us and try to be civil with each other. and time and time again you prove to be not worth it. uuugh!! i hate the fact that this pisses me off! now you're in the other room laughing like nothing happened. you just don't care...

and they wonder why i'm always angry at you. they don't know how you treat me. you act so innocent. no wonder they're always on your side. and i'm the one who's fighting them off of me.
this shouldn't be pissing me off!!!

FUCK!!!! i just asked for a little favor. to open the freaking wire-less internet. and he promised. and after that he demanded that he would only open it if i don't use it. wtf? i would have done it myself if i knew how! well sure enough i did after 15 minutes.. and believe me it was worth almost being electrocuted.

god that venting did nothing of helping getting that load off.. if anything it made me more pissed...

god i hate brats

For Now

i've been feeling like a stranger in my own skin. i've been smiling honestly less and faking it more than i ever did in my life.
i've never felt like such a fake before. i've been a fake to my own blog, and the only reason i made it is for it to become an outlet, a place to vent. and now i can't do that here...

i'll probably be back before you know it. you won't ever realize i'm gone :)

Funny Video Of The Month :P

i know the quality sucks. but it's worth the trouble. all you have to do is listen to it and try to watch and maybe give a little giggle. cause if you didn't, then there would be no point in searching for some videos that aren't even funny...

anyway i know i posted 2 but i couldn't decide which one, so i thought "what the hell, i'll put both of them"

i can't believe how funny it is. and i also can't believe i watched this as a kid and not caught the meaning... *sigh* shows how naive children are... or at least i was... whatever

p.s i got finals so i won't be posting anything for a while... i'll be back on the 12th. wish me luck (i definitely need it)

Just Another Day With Me And My Sister

• Moi: "Wow misa'a has everything, doesn't she?" (she's the singer who keeps shimmying)
  Kambi: "Except her virginity.."
  
  
• Moi: "She is so hott.. she's almost perfect"
  Moi: "There's gotta be something wrong with her.."
  Kambi: "Like what?"
  Moi: "I don't know.. She's boring..?"
  Kambi: "Who cares? She's hot!"
  Moi: "Ax murderer?"
  Kambi: "I got it!!! She has a temper!"
  Moi: "Yes!!!.....i'd still wanna be her.. :/"
  Kambi: "Yeah me too :("
  
  
• Kambi is sitting on the bed looking at a ring box.... Kambi stares at Moi and decides to hit me in the face with it... it nicks me (although she says it barely touched me- how would she know?!):
  Moi: "333AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" (it didn't even hurt)
  Kambi: "Uh-huh uh-huh" while it6ig irgiba
  
  
• We have a dream (in a Martin Luther King voice) that one day!! we would have a lion as a pet!! and we would name him!!!! SIMBAAAAAAA *raawr*
  and we made up all these situations:

1. We would be all over him and talk baby talk: "Thas ma booooy yeah thas ma babyyyy.." and he would be all happy and cuuuute (keep in mind he is HUGE!! and scary looking- he's a frickin lion for petes sake)
   
   
2. We would order Hardeez or any other delivery resteraunt and they'd be waiting outside with the food and out of no where "Simba" would want to play with him. And the delivery dude wouldn't know that and he would piss his pants or faint and we'd be like: "Not again... Simba what did you just do?! Go inside the house. No food for you!" And he would go with his tail between his legs...
   
   Obviously we are very disturbed and have very big imaginations...

• For the past 6 months we've been searching and looking for a program that would put the videos on YouTube on our iPods. we found this program called VisualHub (which I recommend) and we bought it.. so we tested it.. and hello! it works!!
  we were droppin it and poppin it and breakin it and everything.. I almost made out with my sister then and there!! I was so happy that I kept telling her how awesome she is and how perfect, smart and how hott she was that she found it... I still get this huge grin when I think how if it wasn't for her, my iPod wouldn't be full from it... *sigh* I luuurve her :P
  
  
• Kambi: "OY!!"
  Moi: "RUSSEL!!!"
  we do it because we can... and we got it from here
  
  
• Kambi: "Is dhere vai6ing least?" (in Russian accent)
  Translation: is there a waiting list? talking to 'waiting list person' at T.G.I Fridays on a Thursday night
  Moi: "Hahahahahahaha... oh sorry it's not funny.." (in a British accent)
  
  
• Moi reading a jokes book at virgin along time ago:
  Moi: "What does a giraffe eat at a bar?"
  Kambi: "What?"
  Moi: "Black cherries.."
  *long pause*
  Both: "Hawhawhawhawhawhawhaw!" (in a fake pompous laugh)
  We still don't get it.... help us understand??
  
  
• Mon Pere: "Thi3faw!! Shmitinkom!" on a side note: we're not really fat.. we're just curvy (in a good way)
  Kambi: "Excuse me! curves are in! am I right?!"
  Moi: "Oh yeah! gimme some baby"
  We high five each other while mon pere just kept on watching T.V
  

I'm Not Different, I'm Just Weird

ok so here are a few moments in my life that i will never forget in all my life (even though i wish i could with some of em) but i'm afraid that maybe i will.. and i don't want to... and these moments always puts a smile on my face and make me laugh.. here it goes:

situation #1:
time: last weekend.

me and my cousin were out and we were bored to death. so she tells me that there's this road that's all bumpy and stuff and we would have fun going there while driving fast (i know what you're thinking.. seriously? a bumpy road? is she high? don't worry i thought the same thing) so i said ok.. we didn't have anything to do.. it turns out it's the parking lot for johnny carinos :/ anyway we had a blast i must say..

ok imagine this: you're going 90 miles per hour on a little street that's all bumpy or whatever and that's the only form of entertainment that you can get on a thursday night? well it was the best idea my cousin ever had!!!

ok another thing to imagine: you're on a date with your girl/boyfriend at johnny corinos parking lot and you see a car flying by with 2 girls in it with their hands up in the air and then come to a screeching halt at the exit, come back and unknowingly park next to your car and eat McDonald's ice cream while laughing hysterically... what would be going through your mind? (this actually happened btw)

situation #2:
time: same thing.

so were looking for the bumpy road.. and my cousin doesn't know where it is.. so we get into every turn we see.. so we turn into the boat club or something right?
10 minutes later... we're still in the boat clubs' parking lot!! we were fucking lost!! in a fucking parking lot!! (i swear alot don't i?) we had to call her sister (who doesn't know jack shit about kuwait.. she doesn't even know where their jam3iya is..ok maybe i'm exaggerating..but she really ma itdil shay) and ask for directions on where the fucking exit was (she wasn't any help.. she kept making us go into circles... that bitch..we should have known) anyway we were there for another 5 minutes until we found it... it was really stupid.. LOOOL!!

situation #3:
time: hehehehehehehehe yeah ok we'll just skip this one k?

my brother had promised me to get me some kk.. and i was craving it like crazy.. so i went to look for him, so i asked my sister who was on the couch watching t.v.. she said she didn't know.
this is what i said:
"that fucking bitch... amma cut off his dick and shove it in his ass when i see him!"
i hear something behind me and when i turn to see who it is.. it turns out to be my parents!
i turn around to look at my sister and this is exactly how i looked like and i swear i'm not exaggerating!

i stayed in my room for 2 days and i didn't make eye contact with them for 4...

situation #4:
time: errr meh..

i was in the living room watching tv with my sister when i hear my pink panther ringtone go off.. so i get up and run to my room to answer it. and on the way there i hit the table. HARD! i kept going not realizing that i hit a table. i answer the phone and it's my cousin (i know what you're thinking.. her cousin again? which one?) it's the one i got lost in the parking lot with. anyway. so we're talking and i'm sitting with my sister and she's watching tv.. and when my cousin is in the middle of the sentence... this is what happened:
cousin: "yeah so blah blah blah and then we could..."
moi: "FUCKING BITCH!!"
my sister jumps from her seat and my cousin is speechless.
cousin: "what? what's wrong?"
sister: :shfeech?"
moi: "OOOOOW!! 5ARRA EB SHAKIL OMIK ZAIN?!"
both of them: "what?!"
turns out i just felt the pain from when i hit the table.. and it hurt like hell!!! i had this big ass bruise on my hip.. and i'm just feeling the pain.. i guess my body was in shock.. when i think about it.. it's funny as hell

situation #5:
time: 2-3 weeks ago... i think.. :D

we're all having lunch. my brother sneezes..
moi: "7amdilla"
brother: "yir7amch allah"
moi: "yahdeena o yahdee..." i look at my brother
moi: "did you sneeze or did i sneeze?"
brother: "i think i did..."
moi: "3ayal laish gilt yir7amch allah??"
brother: "laish giltay 7amdilla??"
moi: "touche' "
my parents didn't let me forget about it for a week...


hmmmm.. what else? what else? what else?? i can't remember... anyway when i do i'll post about it..

We Not Only Live In A Cage, We Built The Cage, And Live In A Corner Of It

Sitting against the headboard on her bed, she stared at the blank paper leaning against her bent legs, and still she stared. She lifted her pencil to write a sentence, but when she was about to write it down, she paused. It wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t good at all.

She sighed and lifted her head and stared at the ceiling, as if she could find whatever inspiration she wanted written on it.

After not finding anything embedded in the ceiling she eyed the piece of paper and started drawing a perfect square in its corner.

As she finished coloring the insides of the square, a flicker of light shines in the corner of her mind. Finally she has found something she could work on! She starts concentrating on that light, willing it to grow stronger. A smile appears on her face as she holds the pencil firmly and starts creating a person as well a family.

She keeps on writing, keeps on creating memories and everything else. She has created the perfect life. The perfect world, where it only exists in the readers mind, where he can only see it behind his eyes.

She stops writing and lifts her hand to re-read her newest creation. And she decides she likes it. She closes her notebook and goes to the kitchen to have a snack. She always gets hungry after writing.


After writing what you just read. I stood and wondered if I was just a character in someone else’s story; if I’m just a bunch of words that’s formed this person that’s writing this post. I had just created a person with ambitions and dreams, who lives in a world that I had also created with these words and I can’t help but wonder if I’m the same thing. Have you ever wondered about that?

As I sit here and ponder some more I start to hear my mother telling me to stop living in my own world and start living in the real world.

As I walk to the door and look back. I can’t see the words that are on the computer screen, but I can easily see the perfect world that's in it, and I can’t help but wish to live in that world.

Brothers On A Hotel Bed

You may tire of me as our December sun is setting
'Cause I'm not who I used to be
No longer easy on the eyes
These wrinkles masterfully disguise
The youthful boy below
who turned your way and saw
Something he was not looking for
Both a beginning and an end
But now he lives inside someone he does not recognize
When he catches his reflection on accident

On the back of a motor bike
With your arms outstretched trying to take flight
Leaving everything behind
But even at our swiftest speed
We couldn't break from the concrete
In the city where we still reside
And I have learned
That even landlocked lovers yearn
For the sea like navy men
'Cause now we say goodnight
From our own separate sides
Like brothers on a hotel bed [x4]

You may tire of me as our December sun is setting
'Cause I'm not who I used to be

From Class

guess where i am??

i'm in class!! ok ok it's not really a big deal.. except i'm in a public high school and the fact that i'm connected to wire-less internet is awesome!!

ok i'm bored and there's nothing left to say... and i'm sitting here munching on a krispy kreme donut is heaven..

oh and my friend sarah says hii.. don't mind her she's kind of a kook :P

aaaah how relaxing...

ok i have nothing to do and my friend is waiting to check her email...
everybody in class has her laptop and i'm the only one with a connection.. suck on that bitches!!!

p.s i know the pic looks very fugly.. but that's the way life is..

toodels ;P

Sunrise

the same time last year, we were here. the same place, the same position, same time.

you were sleeping over again. and we were up all night. and we had a craving for hot chocolate and we took it to the roof to drink it in the fresh air.

we get to the roof and sit on those things that look like boulders but really aren't. we wondered what their purpose was when we sat on them. but we didn't dwell on it. we sat Indian style with our backs against the wall.

we sat there for a while, not saying anything, not needing to say anything. just staring at the sky and drinking our hot chocolate. all of a sudden you asked me where i saw myself in ten years. i told you i would see myself as i was that day. confused. you laughed and told me to be serious. i looked at the sky. the sun was rising. and it was spectacular. i tried to change the subject by telling you to see how beautiful the sky was, but you wouldn't have any of it. you kept on persisting. and i told you i was serious. i was confused and i thought i'd always be confused.

i asked you where you saw yourself. and you started to tell me all of your crazy hopes and dreams. you were always very animated, always moving.
you kept telling me about your hopes for the next ten years, and i couldn't help but smile. you were so hopeful and optimistic. we were the exact opposites of each other.

the whole time after that we just stared and watched the sunrise. we stayed that way for a long time, only commenting about things that were so insignificant that i forgot what they were, but seem so important to me right now that i would do anything just to remember.

a couple of minutes later you decided that you were tired and ready for bed. i told you i'd follow you in a couple of minutes. that was around 6:45 -ish and the sun was high in the sky. i rested my head against the wall and closed my eyes as i took a deep breath. a smile was on my face when i opened my eyes. it was going to be a beautiful day. i took my empty mug and went downstairs.

now, i sit here alone. the same place, the same position, same time. with my mug of hot chocolate that's gone cold. i look at the clouds and wonder if you ever think of me. but i'm not an optimist.

You Can Never Get Enough Badleyat **click the title for older badleyat**

yes my dear reader, it's the time of the year again.. another badleyat post!!

shall we start??

1. kamboor (shampoo + conditioner)
2. mingalmmma (min6ama + mincha3ma)
3. 6ab3a (ma6aba) i said it in a dream!!
4. 3awajin (7awajib + 3yoon)
5. thakarteech (thakartich + thakarteeny)
6. sim3eeny a5izich (shofeeny a5izich)
7. ma7ad yakil o ib 7alja akil (ma7ad yitkalam o ib 7alja akil)
8. worild (weird)
9. magloofa (malgoofa)
10. akaataaab (aktib + kitab)
11. 3ara ib kainish (3ama ib 3ainich + 5ara ib shaklich)

Funny Video Of The Month :P

ako agdam min chethy?
i have no idea!!

bes i loooooooooooooooorve iit!!

YOUR OPINION OF ME IS THE ONLY ONE THAT MATTERS..

**update:ok some people are actually understanding this wrong. what i meant is that of all peoples opinions they have on me, the only one that i actually care about is that person's opinion. i don't care about the others.**

that's all :)

The Glass Is...

HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?

I Find Great Humour In The Fact That We Ever Take Ourselves Seriously

ok i just feel a little bit iffy and i need to blow off some steam..


*I find it very odd that people are surprised when they find out I'm a quarter of an Indian.. what's the big deal?


*I've been thinking about learning a new language.. but I already know 4.. English, Arabic, Indian and French.. but I think I also wanna learn Italian.. what do you think I should learn?


*I've been having a lot of blonde moments. what the hell is wrong with me?


*one thing you should know about me is that I hate eating in crowded places. I just don't feel comfortable. I mean everybody sees everybody.. and I just don't want people to see me the minute I'm going to put food in my mouth. one time me and my cousins were eating dinner and the freaking waitress was standing in front of our table watching us eat.. all I did was drink water the whole time, and when the bitch finally decided to leave I was full from drinking the fucking water!!


* ok the point from that is my question: is it just me?


*I have decided to get a belly button ring! I will save some money till summer lamman insafer and I'll go get it done with my cousin. just don't tell our moms :P if they found out we'd be dead.. I hope my mom doesn't read my blog.. I really hope so...


*ok so this is something that's irked me for a very fucking long time.
when I speak English. I speak in an American accent. I don't do it on purpose, it just happens. and when I do it in public sometimes people look at me funny, like I'm showing off.. I'm not showing off this is the way I fucking talk! .... but if you hear a q80 person talk like that.. would you think they're showing off?


*I've been told that I'm a sarcastic bitch by my family.. and I wanted to see how sarcastic I am. so I took this test. and I'm very surprised!! I knew I'm sarcastic. but not to this extent:

You're Totally Sarcastic

You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny. Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it. And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitude, then too bad. So sad.

How Sarcastic Are You?

*yesterday I thought I lost my iPod. I was so freaked!! all my songs. my videos. my movies.. everything gone!!! 'till I found the iPod under my pillow -_-


*don't worry I give you permission to tell me how stupid I am because of the iPod thing.


*I've been told that I'm mean. I'm not mean, I'm honest! maybe too honest.. at least I'm not lying!!


*my brother tells me that I'm selfish. all I do is write about myself in my blog. (pause)

I'll give you a minute to digest this idiotic sentence and won't bother saying anything about it.


*I just sneezed. 7amdillah :P

What You Are To Me...

You're the one who's been there for me when nobody was.
You're the one who always knew what to say and you always say it at the right time.
You've always been there in my worst and best of times.
You have been with me through thick and thin.
You've helped me with everything, from helping me with homework or just being a smartass and telling me i was wrong.
You're the only one who's been truly honest with me and I the same.
You're the one I go to, to bitch and whine or let out my happiness or frustrations.
We have been through alot together.
From being sick or just plain unresponsive, but you've always come through.
You're the only one who knows how I truly feel about stuff, and you're the only one who truly knows me.

I love you,
I'm grateful towards you.
I owe everything to you.
You are my best friend,
My soul mate.
My Mac.

Why Don't You Do Right?

You had plenty money 1922
You let other women make a fool of you
Why don't you do right, like some other men do?

Get outta here
Get me some money too.

Now if you had prepared 20 years ago
You wouldn't be wandering now from door to door
Why don't you do right, like some other men do?

Get outta here
Get me some money too (x2)

Why don't you do right, like some other men do?

aaaah good times :P

The Greatest Hazard In Life Is To Risk Nothing, Only People Who Risk Are Free

ok so i've been down with a fever and i'm bored out of my mind from resting! and i've been watching youtube since 11 o'clock and don't ask why, but i've been watching inside the actors studio the whole time and at the end of each episode he asks the guest a questionnaire.. and so my dear reader. we are going to do it! i'll go first:

1: What is your favorite word?

Serendipity.

2: What is your least favorite word?

No.

3: What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Confidence.

4: What turns you off?

Lies.

5: What sound or noise do you love?

The sea.

6: What sound or noise do you hate?

A ringing phone.

7: What is your favorite curse word?

Fuck!

8: What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Singing. :P

9: What profession would you not like to do?

Teaching. (no offense to teachers :P)

10: If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Finally you made it!! :P

alright dear reader.. you have to answer it as a comment. i'm sorry dear reader it's not a choice. it's an order ;)

The Other Side Of The Story (Part II) **click on the title to read the first part**

So you finally came to listen huh? You finally gave up some of your time to listen to me, or did you? Heh does it really matter? Someone's finally going to listen to me for once. So where do you want me to start? How it all began? Or how it all fell apart?

I guess I'll start with the day we met. I'll tell you about the rest, the next time we meet.

That day started as one of the worst days of my life, and then all of a sudden it turned to be one of the best days of my life. If you'd ask me to do it again, I would never hesitate. I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Now back to the story. That day I wanted to kill everyone. Nothing was going my way; I twisted my ankle calling a cab, and in the process broke my heel. Which was only the beginning.

I enter the building with a slight limp with a ripped skirt. I walk over to my desk feeling self-conscious and exposed. I held my head high and casually walked to the desk, only a little faster than usual.

I stand and stare. There is nothing on my desk, literally, nothing but an envelope. I open it and find a pink slip. I read it and I find out I've been fired. I think I was in shock, because I wasn't angry or anything. I just said the first thing that came into mind
"It really is pink."

Conveniently as I exited the building. It suddenly started to rain. and I couldn't help but yell.
"OH COME ON!"

I look up at the sky and take a deep breath. Trying to hold it in. I will not lose control here I thought to myself. Teary eyed I hail for a cab, at the same time another man standing next to me with an umbrella does the same. The cab stops between us. As I walk to it he does the same. I get there first and open the door getting ready to get in.

"Excuse me. What do you think you're doing?" he asks me cautiously
"Umm... getting in the cab?" not quite sure what to say.
"But this is my cab."
"Come again?"
"It's..my..caaaab" talking slowly as if I couldn't understand him.
"Look I've had a really crappy day and I don't have time for this….." and I start into blabber mode. Which in another note I think runs in the family.
"Ok ok. Maybe we can share?" he says while holding up his hand.
"Fine." I say as I step inside the vehicle.

Inside the cab I stare out the window, while doing patterns on the window with my finger.

"What are you staring at?"
"Everything." I answer.

Next thing I know he introduces himself and offers to buy me a cup of coffee. I decline saying something about me not liking coffee. He offers to buy me a milk shake. And I agree.

The whole time I'm aware of the ring on his left hand, but I never acknowledged it.

See you next week?

Funny Video Of The Month :P

i'm not sure if you've already seen this.. but who cares?!

it's still funny don't you think??

Ma Boy!

this is ma babeh. isn't he adorable? his name is CK. which stands for Clark Kent. i'm a HUGE superman fan and CK are his initials.

he's 4 years old. which means 28 in dog years. he's a pure bread German Shepherd. and he's full of hair as you can see :P

he loves loves LOVES kit kat! it's his favorite treat! he's very protective!

and he worships me. fa9la. but very smart. he has gotten into the house on his own many many times. and when you try to punish him, he gives you those cute puppy eyes which he knows will melt your heart. and he uses it alot when he sees me with some candy or something which caught his interest. and me being the huge softy i give it to him anyway.

don't you just love him already??

from small little fur ball...

to huge adorable lion :P

The Sound Of Beauty

Can you hear that? That noise?
Did you ever hear anything more beautiful? So powerful?
Do you know what that is? That’s nature. Isn’t it amazing?

Do you see the raindrops, so pure and unique? Do you see the way they shine on their way down? Or the way they look when they hit the ground and make ripples in the ground? It feels like my explaining it won’t do it any justice. It’s thrilling in it’s own right. So I guess I’ll just skip it and let your imagination do all the work.

Do you see the way nature is cleansing itself? How can you not? Do you feel the same way I feel right now, this overwhelming feeling of wonderment? Do you feel it?

Can you hear the sound of the rain? It’s so relaxing; so peaceful.
I don’t know why, but I always feel so connected in the middle of a rainstorm. Do you feel that way too?

Listen…..do you hear that? That’s the sound of beauty.

I Had Another Dream

I had another dream the other night. It wasn't a good dream. And you were in it. I didn't want you in my dream. I felt something. Like something bad is going to happen. And I didn't want anything to happen to you.

I tried to get you to leave. I tried to keep you away. To keep you safe, but you wouldn't leave. I wanted you to leave. I told you that I had a feeling, and that I didn't like it, that I didn't want you to be here when it happens. You told me it was all in my head. But the feeling was only getting stronger. I didn't like it. And I wanted to wake up. You said it would be okay. You said everything would be fine. I tried to believe you. I wanted to believe you so bad.

All this happened in the car on our way. I kept expecting something to happen. Any second and it would. But it never did. The feeling seemed to fade away. I was glad it was fading.

The car kept moving, and we kept laughing. I never wanted this feeling to end. This happiness. this content. I wanted it to go on forever.

I look at my right and I see the car coming towards us. It was getting closer. The car wasn't supposed to be there. I opened my mouth to tell you that. But I never got the chance to say it.

I won't be cliché and say that I saw my life flash through my eyes. And the only white light I saw was the headlight from the car. It was very strong. I had to close my eyes because of it.

I woke up that day with this urge to see you. And when I went to your room I couldn't find you. I wanted to tell you about the dream. I wanted to know what it meant. Most of all I wanted to see you and make sure you were safe.

I was getting really worried until you called. You told me you were hungry, and I told you I wanted to talk to you about something. You said you were in the mood for the place we were going to in my dream. I told you we’d see when you get here.

I don't know how you convinced me to go there. But we did. And on the way there, I had the same feeling I had then. And I became quiet. You said something about that being weird since I can't keep my mouth shut for two minutes. And I didn't say anything. That’s when I think you became really worried.

We got to the place where it happened. I look at my right expecting to see the car coming towards me. But it never came.

I laughed and told you about the dream. And you laughed at my paranoia. I told you I have really weird dreams, and you couldn't help but agree. We kept laughing about it all day.

You told me it would be okay. You said everything would be fine. I tried to believe you. And I did, I still do.

We See Things Not As They Are, But As We Are

I'm sorry that I'm not the person you wanted me to be, I'm sorry that I'll never be that person.
I'm just not strong enough, or smart enough to be like you. I'm sorry. I tried. I really did.. even after all the advice and directions you gave me, I don't know what to do.

I can't be like you, I don't know how to be like you. I'm not like you. I'm not as confident as you are, I'm not wise as you are. I'm not together as you are.

I tried. I really did. And I won't stop trying.. it's just that my trying isn't good enough. It's never good enough, it will never be good enough.. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be this insecure. I can't help it. It's the truth. I'm no longer in denial.

I've tried to be the best I can be. I've tried to make you proud of me. I'm not you, I'm not her, I'm not them. I'm just me. And I don't know if I should be sorry because of it. But I am. I don't know why. I just am.

I'm trying to do everything you want without losing myself, and I already feel like a stranger to myself. You said everything will be ok. Easier said than done. I've already lost myself. I don't even know who I am anymore.

I can't be you. I just.....can't.

Please don't stop loving me because of it. Please

WOW

mashalla!!! you see all that?

i taught him all of it :P

What Keeps Us Human

what makes humans so different from the other species in the world?
is it the fact that we're able to think? or is it that we can make change from the way we think? but is change the result of just our thinking?

humans are not only different from other species, but they are different from each other. each human is unique in it's own way. from it's personality, to it's way of handling pressure, to all kinds of things that makes humans so different.

what makes us all human? is it that we get emotional with certain things? or that we are able to do the impossible? or the fact that we strive for perfection, even though we know that nothing is perfect? we're not perfect; it doesn't even exist, but we keep on working to achieve it. we're hopeful that we will find it in a tiny particle of our being, hidden just beneath the surface.

we never give up. we keep striving for perfection. some even die looking for it. and in the end we're no different than any other creature in the planet. we're all just a grain of sand.

HOLY SHIT I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!

The Greater Your Dreams, The More Terrible Your Nightmares

breathe in, breathe out.


my fingers are ready. and I’m just staring at the screen. I should write something. a sentence. a word. anything.. and I wrote nothing. all I wrote was my name.

I still have nothing after twenty minutes. just a few sentences. and I hate it. I’m still in the same position I was when I first started. I want to write something. I want it so bad.

I want to write a story that would change somebody’s perspective on life. it is an amazing feeling to know that you’ve helped changed somebody’s view on life. opening one’s eyes to things they’ve never seen before. or opening doors that were once locked. to be able to do that is an honor.

I’m still waiting for an idea to hit me. and I’m bored as hell. so I listen to some music. trying to pass the time. the music isn’t helping any. so I put some dvds to watch. am I’m so engrossed in the show that I totally forgot about the article that I wanted to write. I stop the show, losing interest in it. and sleep while everybody outside keeps on living and time keeps on ticking.

OMG!!!

anything else?? :P

Introducing Abercrombie & Fitch!

they're my favorite! i love them! i adore them! and they're so cuute! :P

the one on the right is Abercrombie and the other is fitch :D
i usually pick their noses when i feel bored. and when they start to fight i just shove my foot in their mouthes :P

that's it.. and i can't think of anything else. if i remember i'll tell you :P

Funny Video Of The Month :P

What The Hell Are They Called?!

shino banak bil english?!

i tried googling it.. no dice..

i really wanna know. i'm so curious!

does anybody know?

If You Aim At Nothing, You Are Bound To Hit It

ok not to offend anybody here or anything.. but what is wrong with our movies??
they suck!! everytime i wanna go out and watch a movie find there aren't any good ones.. or they're sooo old that i already saw it!!

now i'm not dissing, offending or insulting.. i'm just venting.
i love kuwait.. i adore it! i'm a huge patriot.. but we have sucky movies!! they suck! i hate them..

i'm depressed.. i'm bored.. and i have this big ass cold!! so excuse me if i hurt your precious feelings that i don't give a shit about!!

ok that was mean.. sorry :) i'm just bored and sick

oh and another note.. when you're sick, does it make you forget about stuff?
cause i've been forgetting everything!! so i'm just wondering, is this normal or am i just a freak??
i think i'm just a freak..

P.S feeny 3a6sa min 2 days ago!! and i still haven't sneezed!! every time i feel like i'm finally gonna sneeze, troo7 el 3a6sa o atnarfaz and i become this bitch that everybody hates.. and i should just leave it at that..

UPDATE: I SNEEZED!!! and now i can't stop sneezing -.-

Jaaaaber Obona Min 3omer 3arafnah...

More Of My Cousins and I...

• Cousin #1: "Is it hot in here or is it just me?"
  Me: "No actually I'm the one who hott."
  Cousin #1: "Naturally :P"
  
  
• Cousin #2: "So what do you guys wanna do?"
  Me: "I don't know"
  Cousin #1: "What exactly *do* you know?"
  Me: "Apparently nothing."
  
  
• Me: "Stop saying the fucking 'F' word you fucking bitch!"
  
  
• Cousin #2: "Son of a b$!&$@ ^%#*&%$#;% ^$*(*%@&^$#@#!@!!!! "
  Me: "I'm so proud of you."
  
  
• Me: "Slow the car down la yinkisir el baith!" (notice the sarcasm:P )
  Cousin #2: "Tabeen tirje3een el bait mashy?"
  Me: "Tabeen t'9i3een?"
  Cousin #2: "Touche"
  
  
• *Me looking at a picture*
  Me: "I know who that is!"
  Cousin #2: "Ee Nedo."
  Me: "What?"
  HAHAHAHA
  
  
• Cousin #1: "So which city do you wanna go to?"
  Me: "Metropolis."
  Cousin #1: "In which state is that?"
  Me: "New Troy."
  Cousin #1: "There's no state named New Troy!"
  Me: "Of course there isn't! It's where Superman lives!"
  Cousin #1: "I thought Superman wasn't real?"
  Me: "Oh my god and I thought you were the smart one."
  
  
• *Cousin #2 hitting me*
  Me: "Hey stop that! shfeech?"
  Cousin #2: "I'm just trying to fix the GPS since it's not working very good!"
  Me: "Hey! the GPS is new and absolutely fine! it's the driver who sucks!"
  Cousin #2: "How am I a bad driver?"
  Me: "Well the fact that you needed a GPS *points at myself* to show you the way to jam3iyat eshamiya that was right in front of us!"
  
  
• Me: "I think I'm gonna change my fake name.."
  Cousin #1: "You can't change your fake name!"
  Me: "Why not? It's fake!"
  Cousin #1: "Because we all agreed for that to be your fake name."
  Me: "Maaan.."
  Cousin #2: "Just out of curiosity.. What would you change it to?"
  Me: "Zalee5a!"
  
  
• Cousin #2: "I feel lightheaded.."
  Me: "Oh sweety that's because the air in your head got out.."
  *Cousin #1 laughing silently*
  Cousin #2: "Is that supposed to be a joke?"
  Me: "Not really.. :)"
  

If Life Is Merely A Joke, Then The Question Is : For Who's Amusement?

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la bes chethy ga3da ajareb el keyboard :D

I Think I'm Going To Delete This Blog Because Of This..

so a few days or so ago i was walking in the halls of my school (ga99a) where i see my principal coming in the opposite direction. i thought ' shit busted!'

now the principal is a great friend of my mothers, so she keeps an eye on me which sucks. moving on.

she stops me and asks how i am. blah blah blah. THEN! THEN!! she says the worst sentence in the english vocabulary. she said
"nice blog btw.."

!!!!!!! how! how does she know??

alright my dear reader.. say it with me.. FUCK!!!

You Only Live Once. But In That Life You Die A Thousand Diffrent Deaths

i've been tagged by Red Lady.

so here are the 10 things you don't know about me:

1. I'm a chocoholic. (no surprise there.)
2. I miss NY. (I really do love it.)
3. I know 2 bloggers, and i recently saw 3. (i won't say who so don't bother :P)
4. I used to love playing kout. now i hate it, because of how much they forced me to play it.
5. I hate apricots. (how ironic)
6. I don't have a favorite color.
7. I'm frequently being underestimated. and i love their expressions when they realize that.
8. My hair is so na3im to the extent that if i use a curling iron after 3 hours it goes straight again.
9. I'm a night person.
10. I love the smell of rain.
    

Read 'Em While They're Still Hot! ** click on the title for older badleyat**

here i am again, about to write badleyat.. nothing new.. this time i don't think it's for proof that i am om el badleyat.. i think it was very obvious from my other badleyat post.

so let's get on with it shall we? :)

1. 7ajiya (7aganiya)
2. a'3na a7aly (a7la a'3any)
3. pucking fussy (fucking pussy) please excuse my language :P
4. adabiya (mit2adba)
5. 9af5ita (fa95ita)
6. '63am (3'6am)
7. 9amya (3amya + 9am5a)
8. 5ayeena (5iyana)
9. tagree3a (targee3a)
10. karast kisriyey (kassart kirsiyey)
11. eeter eith (either eat)

there you have it!
enjoy!

p.s all these badleyat were from 3 days ago

Jeff and Walter

One Meets His Destiny Often On The Road He Takes To Avoid It

The day was going well so far. We still didn’t find what we were looking for. We didn’t know what we’re actually looking for. But we wanted something for the party. We kept shopping, going from one shop into the other for a while. We had found some ‘potential’ things to wear. But we wanted something perfect for all of us.

Shopping wasn’t something I really enjoyed, but I was enjoying the company, we would make some remarks on some particular things that we felt people had the right not to see on display let alone on people..

We were getting out of a shop that we had just entered less than five minutes ago when:
*beep beep beep*

I thought to myself... this couldn’t be happening... I turn and see the sales man waving his hands and telling me not to worry about it. I thank him and catch up with them. They’re trying not to laugh. But it was a losing battle as they tried not to make eye contact with each other or with me.

“Alright let’s just keep going”
“I thought you threw away those jeans?” she asks me, with a huge grin.
“I did. This sucks man...” I say as we make our way to the next store. we pass some guys waiting outside for some girls. One guy says something about us that we didn’t pay attention to or hear, it’s nothing new to us.

As we enter it beeps again, and I turn to the security guard to see his reaction. I see him looking at me. Confused, not knowing what to do. But he kept quite. I hear them giggle and go check out some stuff. I give up and stand near the security guard so he can see that I’m not doing anything. Because I was positive when we leave I would beep. And I didn’t want to waste anybody’s time.

The hairs on the back of my neck stand with the feeling that I was being watched. I turn and I see the security guard looking at my body with a look I didn’t like. I look down and make sure that everything is the way it should be. Nothing showing and nothing is out of place. I look at him again and the look he gave me made me uncomfortable beyond belief. He was undressing me with his eyes. I didn’t like it. It was scaring me. And I wanted to leave. Desperately.

Five minutes later they come to me and say that they’re ready to leave and have some dinner. We pass the steal detector-thingy, and naturally. It beeps. I kept moving as if nothing happened. But he stops me. He asks if he can see my bag.

“Excuse me?”
“I need to check your bag,” he says while holding out his hand for it.

I hand him my bag still not sure what was going on, but if I didn’t cooperate that would mean I was hiding something, which I wasn’t. So I gave it to him. Still trying to figure out what was happening. I still don’t know.

He gives my bag back to me and says the most shocking words: “turn around and spread your arms and legs please,” he says coming closer to me.

“Wha…” he wouldn’t let me finish the sentence. He turned me around and spread my arms and legs and started patting my backside, my legs, thighs, hips, and waist. Everything. His hands were lingering everywhere and everybody knew it. Everybody stopped what they were doing and stared. The guys that were waiting, their eyes almost fell out of their sockets. Everything started to move in slow motion.

His hands began to go up my leg. I opened my mouth to say something I can’t remember even if you gave me a million k.d. But he shut me up immediately. His hands were going further up until they went to my inner thigh. I closed my eyes, not able to take it anymore. A single tear fell from my eyes when he spread my legs more roughly.
I couldn’t believe it. This was actually happening and in public and I’m just standing there. Frozen. I knew what to do if this ever happened. But for the death of me I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t hear or see anything. And I couldn’t stop it.
I didn’t know what was wrong. Why didn’t I move? Why didn’t I hit him? Why didn’t I defend myself?

Tears are still falling when he finished. He thanks me for “my cooperation” and turns back and goes to his place. I turn and walk while they’re walking behind me. One of them, I didn’t know who had my bag in her hand. I hadn’t noticed when my bag fell from my hand. I didn’t notice anything other than what was happening during those minutes. I hadn’t noticed when he started to complement my legs -saying they were beautifully shaped- when he was doing what he was doing. I hadn’t noticed the people asking themselves what was going on. I hadn’t noticed the guys trying to stop the man from what was doing to me. I had only felt my innocence leaving me.

I stop walking. I look around myself and I don’t know where I am. I have no idea why I’m even here. Why I even ran. Why I needed to escape from him.

“Sarah..” they both try to grab my attention

I wake up from my dream with tears in my eyes. And I keep crying for a long time. This was the first time I cried in three years. And I kept crying until there were no more tears. And then I cried some more. It was a dream. It was all a dream. But it felt so real that I couldn’t help but cry.

After I finished crying I lay on my bed thinking about the dream, and tried to find out what it meant. Then all of a sudden my phone rings. I look to see who it is and it’s her. I pick up the phone.

“Wanna go shopping?”

You Gotta Love Him

sha5bariiiiiiii!!! dust dust all over him man.. bes you cant help but giggle when you see him :P

ok so explain this to me. what's his deal? we all know he was abducted. but what happened after he was brought back?

is he an alien?

after they found out he was stupid they threw him away?

did they take his brain then returned him?

what's the deal? why is he so stupid?!

Preparation Is Key!

here are a few things that would help if someone came and said something about yo mama:

• Yo Mama So Stupid:

1. I told her drinks were on the house...so she went and got a ladder...
2. when you were born, she looked at your umbilical cord and said, "Wow, it comes with cable too!"
3. I found her peaking over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
4. she watches The Three Stooges and takes notes.
5. she lost her shadow.
6. when I asked her to purchase me a Colour TV she asked me...'Which colour?'
7. she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said "concentrate".
8. she asked me what yield meant. I said "Slow down" and she said "What... does.... yield... mean?"
9. she put a phone up her ass and thought she was making a booty call.
10. she tried to drown a fish.

• Yo Mama So Fat:

1. I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.
2. they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.
3. she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.
4. Fat Albert gave her the rights to say "Hey, hey, hey!"
5. when she ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's they gave her the key to the store.
6. when she works at the movie theater, she works as the screen.
7. all the restaurants in town have signs that say:
   "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"
8. people jog around her for exercise.
9. I ran around her twice and got lost.
10. at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.

• Yo Mama So Ugly:

1. well.. look at you!
2. she could only be Yo mama.
3. they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.
4. when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
5. when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks.
6. she's uugly. I had to add another u `cause u is ugly too!
7. her shadow quit.
8. when she gets up, the sun goes down.
9. she looks like she got hit with a bag of "What the fuck?!?!"
10. her pillow cries at night.

i think it would really help if you had a yo mama-thon with someone. but i must warn you that you must not have it with one of your brothers or sisters. cause that's just stupid.

I Need To Get This Off My Chest!

ok i stole this idea from l's brain.. i took permission so it's not really considered stealing.. maybe borrowing or copying maybe? anyway here it is.. i warn you it's a little long :P

1. When I'm hanging out with you, it makes me forget about everything. I don't think you actually realize that.
2. Even with the way you treat me. I would still go to you for anything.
3. When you asked me who the post was about, I lied. It was about you.
4. Calling me and lying saying you broke your leg. That's just sick.
5. Acting like nothing happened and nothing's going on isn't working. I'm not stupid, deaf or blind. I know what's going on. I just chose to act ignorant.
6. When you talk about stuff I wouldn't give a damn about that means the world to you. I just smile and try to act interested, cause I'm afraid one day it would all be a memory.
7. When I saw you at marina mall last time I wanted to go to you and scream "Stop stalking me!" you're driving me crazy!
8. Even with all the fighting and bickering. Always know that I love you.
9. When you call me from my room all the way to the living room just because you wanted a hug. It makes me feel special, even when I make it seem annoying.
10. You're not the best thing that has ever happened. So stop acting like it.
11. We all know you're smart. You don't have to prove it.
12. When you asked me what I wanted from you. I really wanted to say this: "I want you to get up and open your eyes and realize that life isn't like your games. There are no second chances in life. And this is the real thing."
13. When you make fun of the type of music I listen to or whatever you're in the mood that day. I don't say anything about your life style. because I care about your feelings. Unlike you.
14. I wanna be just like you! You are my hero. You have managed to do everything. And I hope I'll be able to do the same.
15. When people say I'm like you. It scares me to death, because in their eyes I'll always be you. And that is something I don't wanna be.
16. Oh and you.. fuck you!! I don't care anymore. How do you like that?
    

Dear Life

Oh my baby, Oh my Love,
Ooooooh, woah, oh, woah...woah.

Early was the morn, flowers filled with dew,
I became somebody, through loving you.
Softly as a child, born in natural rain,
I predict the seasons, to go unchanged.

Sometimes in life,
You run across a love unknown,
Without a reason, it seems like you, belong.
Hold on Dear Life,
Don’t go off running from what’s new,
I became somebody, through loving you.

Warm was the sun, that covered my body so.
Reminded me of you, as I’d first known.
Those were tha days, tha days, that changed my life, and made me new,
I became somebody, through loving you.

Sometimes in life,
You run across a love unknown,
Without a reason, it feels like you, belong.
Hold on Dear Life,
Don’t go off running from what’s new,
I became somebody, through loving you.

As the sun shined, down on me,
I know with you in love is where I wonna be,
Oooh sometimes, I go on through life,
thinking that love is something that’s not meant for me,

Woooah...Somebody, somebody.

Hold on dear life,
Don’t go off running from what’s new,
I became somebody, through loving you.
I became somebody, through loving you.
Oh, I became somebody, through loving you.
Woah, oh. Oooooooooooo

Music by: Anthony Hamilton "Dear Life"

i absolutely love this song!! very beatiful..

I Have A Dream!!!

ok so i am left handed!! and i am proud of it!! my brother is left handed!! i don't know if he's proud of it.. he should be!! anyway..

what makes us so different? we just use our left hand instead of our right.. does that mean we know satan?

we are special! we can multi-task people!! even though right handed people can too.. but that's not the point!!

we are people too.. there's nothing satanic about using our left hands. there's nothing unlucky about writing with our left hands.. right?!

and god damn it we deserve to use knives with our left hands!!

and for crying out loud we have our own day!! (august 13th)

we are known as creative, smart people, now that is a great bonus.
alot of famous left handed people, like:
douglas adams
h.g wells
leo tolstoy
50 cent
eminem
james brown
dick van dyke
r. kelly
dane cook
robert deniro
will ferrell
eddie griffin
lisa kudrow
jay leno
and many many more.. trust me

so all you left handed people out there in the blog world make yourself known!! and lift up your hand and lift up your middle finger and say "fuck you!"

thanks.. mo bes indimajt hehe

sources from : here and here

When The Dust Is Clear, One Knows If He Is Riding A Horse Or An Ass

so i've been tagged by angel

so here goes nothin'

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY:


*finishing something i started.

*hanging out with my friends and family.

*writing.

*knowing that when i make someone smile, i was the one who put that smile.

*reading.

*sleeping!!

*helping people.

*chocolate.

*listening to music.

*laughing.

and i think that's it.. i tag whoever wants to be tagged.

post more soon

Everybody Get Down!! *singing off key*

spring break is here people!!
let's shake it and pop it and drop it and kick it.. and break it and whatever you think of..

i am sooo happy to have finished my finals!! all those two weeks with no human contact has left me craving for human contact and wanting reassurance that people are still out there..

this is soo cool.. all my friends and family still have finals and i'm the only one who doesn't..lol 6i7saw bitches!!

anyway i'm still thinking of moving.. especially since FT (010) blocked blogger beta, i thought that's aight i'll just move. and today i realized they unblocked it.. so horay!
if the 3rd strike comes along i might move.. let's hope that doesn't happen..

god you have no idea how much i missed the internet! i've wanted to do so many stuff!! and i will later on

so anyway.. what's up with you reader?

I Think We need To Talk

i have to make this quick before she comes back..

my blog and i have been having some problems.. we can't seem to agree on anything

i try to post a picture and it's says no..
i try to put some music.. it says no..

anything i want to do.. it says no.. :(

so i may break up with my blog and go to wordpress.. do you think i should do that?
i dont know what to do.. i'll have to think about it..

oh shit i gotta go.. the blogs coming.. i seem to be running away from it alot these days..
ciao my fellow reader..

p.s i start finals tomorrow.. i'll be gone till the 16th.
see you then and wish me luck. i need it

Let's Dance!

ok i'm not sure if people already posted this or not.. but who gives a shit!! i'm posting it!!

it is hilarious!! and i love it!

it's the most watched video ever on youtube.. so i'm pretty sure some of you readers have seen it.. but what's the harm in watching it again right?

enjoy!

What You Hear If You're With Me And My Cousins..

• Me: "I'm an English bitch, and she's a French bitch, and you're a world wide bitch."

• Me: "Wanna recruit some new bitches and hoes?"
  Cousin #1: "We already have enough bitches and hoes."

• Me: "Your ass will be shoes."
  Cousin #1: "Shko?"
  Me: "Since I'm going to put my foot up yo ass."

• Cousin #2: "Can we get you anything else? A room maybe?"

• Cousin #2: "You are so controlling!"
  Me: "Allah e3een zojich."
  Cousin #1 "Shut up!!" "Can you get me a paper bag for this?"
  Me: "Inshallah" *gets up*
  Cousin #2 "Hahahahahaha!"

• Me: "I know she's a total bitch, but I really wanna watch her.."

• Cousin #2: "Dude I'm seriously hungry."
  Me: "How's that new?"

• Cousin #1 *singing Kelly Clarkson*
  Me: "Did we do something to deserve this?"
  Cousin #1: "Deserve what?"
  Cousin #2: "This torture."
  Cousin #1: "How am I torturing you?"
  Me: "You're singing."

• Me: "When we get old and they get all saggy and stuff, I'm gonna have to stuff them in my pants or put them over my shoulders."

• Me: "He's a walking billboard for birth control."

• Cousin #2: "If you were an orange. What type of orange would you be?"
  Me: "One that's not eaten."

• Cousin #2: "What kind of animal is the Sagittarius?"
  Cousin #1: "Hahahaha! There you go. Akbar daleel enna el sagis are stupid! hahaha"
  Me: "Raga3t elly gabilha. el7een shlon tabeeny aragi3 hathy?"
  Cousin #2: "So it's not an animal?"

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Here's To A New Beginning *clink clink*

it's 2007 hopefully the beginning of a great year to all of you readers out there..
have fun an try to make use of every second that you have.

to me, it doesn't feel like a new year. it feels like any other day. i don't feel different. i somehow wish i did. the last year has gone by in a blink of an eye. i remember last year we were having a party at our roof shaking our asses and it's hard to believe that was a year ago.

not alot of things happened in 06. maybe that's the reason why time is moving so fast in my eyes.

anywayzz.. happy new year my dear reader.. and i hope that you enjoy it.. since we all deserve to be happy..

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