Sunrise

the same time last year, we were here. the same place, the same position, same time.

you were sleeping over again. and we were up all night. and we had a craving for hot chocolate and we took it to the roof to drink it in the fresh air.

we get to the roof and sit on those things that look like boulders but really aren't. we wondered what their purpose was when we sat on them. but we didn't dwell on it. we sat Indian style with our backs against the wall.

we sat there for a while, not saying anything, not needing to say anything. just staring at the sky and drinking our hot chocolate. all of a sudden you asked me where i saw myself in ten years. i told you i would see myself as i was that day. confused. you laughed and told me to be serious. i looked at the sky. the sun was rising. and it was spectacular. i tried to change the subject by telling you to see how beautiful the sky was, but you wouldn't have any of it. you kept on persisting. and i told you i was serious. i was confused and i thought i'd always be confused.

i asked you where you saw yourself. and you started to tell me all of your crazy hopes and dreams. you were always very animated, always moving.
you kept telling me about your hopes for the next ten years, and i couldn't help but smile. you were so hopeful and optimistic. we were the exact opposites of each other.

the whole time after that we just stared and watched the sunrise. we stayed that way for a long time, only commenting about things that were so insignificant that i forgot what they were, but seem so important to me right now that i would do anything just to remember.

a couple of minutes later you decided that you were tired and ready for bed. i told you i'd follow you in a couple of minutes. that was around 6:45 -ish and the sun was high in the sky. i rested my head against the wall and closed my eyes as i took a deep breath. a smile was on my face when i opened my eyes. it was going to be a beautiful day. i took my empty mug and went downstairs.

now, i sit here alone. the same place, the same position, same time. with my mug of hot chocolate that's gone cold. i look at the clouds and wonder if you ever think of me. but i'm not an optimist.