We Not Only Live In A Cage, We Built The Cage, And Live In A Corner Of It

Sitting against the headboard on her bed, she stared at the blank paper leaning against her bent legs, and still she stared. She lifted her pencil to write a sentence, but when she was about to write it down, she paused. It wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t good at all.

She sighed and lifted her head and stared at the ceiling, as if she could find whatever inspiration she wanted written on it.

After not finding anything embedded in the ceiling she eyed the piece of paper and started drawing a perfect square in its corner.

As she finished coloring the insides of the square, a flicker of light shines in the corner of her mind. Finally she has found something she could work on! She starts concentrating on that light, willing it to grow stronger. A smile appears on her face as she holds the pencil firmly and starts creating a person as well a family.

She keeps on writing, keeps on creating memories and everything else. She has created the perfect life. The perfect world, where it only exists in the readers mind, where he can only see it behind his eyes.

She stops writing and lifts her hand to re-read her newest creation. And she decides she likes it. She closes her notebook and goes to the kitchen to have a snack. She always gets hungry after writing.


After writing what you just read. I stood and wondered if I was just a character in someone else’s story; if I’m just a bunch of words that’s formed this person that’s writing this post. I had just created a person with ambitions and dreams, who lives in a world that I had also created with these words and I can’t help but wonder if I’m the same thing. Have you ever wondered about that?

As I sit here and ponder some more I start to hear my mother telling me to stop living in my own world and start living in the real world.

As I walk to the door and look back. I can’t see the words that are on the computer screen, but I can easily see the perfect world that's in it, and I can’t help but wish to live in that world.

From Class

guess where i am??

i'm in class!! ok ok it's not really a big deal.. except i'm in a public high school and the fact that i'm connected to wire-less internet is awesome!!

ok i'm bored and there's nothing left to say... and i'm sitting here munching on a krispy kreme donut is heaven..

oh and my friend sarah says hii.. don't mind her she's kind of a kook :P

aaaah how relaxing...

ok i have nothing to do and my friend is waiting to check her email...
everybody in class has her laptop and i'm the only one with a connection.. suck on that bitches!!!

p.s i know the pic looks very fugly.. but that's the way life is..

toodels ;P

I Find Great Humour In The Fact That We Ever Take Ourselves Seriously

ok i just feel a little bit iffy and i need to blow off some steam..


*I find it very odd that people are surprised when they find out I'm a quarter of an Indian.. what's the big deal?


*I've been thinking about learning a new language.. but I already know 4.. English, Arabic, Indian and French.. but I think I also wanna learn Italian.. what do you think I should learn?


*I've been having a lot of blonde moments. what the hell is wrong with me?


*one thing you should know about me is that I hate eating in crowded places. I just don't feel comfortable. I mean everybody sees everybody.. and I just don't want people to see me the minute I'm going to put food in my mouth. one time me and my cousins were eating dinner and the freaking waitress was standing in front of our table watching us eat.. all I did was drink water the whole time, and when the bitch finally decided to leave I was full from drinking the fucking water!!


* ok the point from that is my question: is it just me?


*I have decided to get a belly button ring! I will save some money till summer lamman insafer and I'll go get it done with my cousin. just don't tell our moms :P if they found out we'd be dead.. I hope my mom doesn't read my blog.. I really hope so...


*ok so this is something that's irked me for a very fucking long time.
when I speak English. I speak in an American accent. I don't do it on purpose, it just happens. and when I do it in public sometimes people look at me funny, like I'm showing off.. I'm not showing off this is the way I fucking talk! .... but if you hear a q80 person talk like that.. would you think they're showing off?


*I've been told that I'm a sarcastic bitch by my family.. and I wanted to see how sarcastic I am. so I took this test. and I'm very surprised!! I knew I'm sarcastic. but not to this extent:

You're Totally Sarcastic

You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny. Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it. And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitude, then too bad. So sad.

How Sarcastic Are You?

*yesterday I thought I lost my iPod. I was so freaked!! all my songs. my videos. my movies.. everything gone!!! 'till I found the iPod under my pillow -_-


*don't worry I give you permission to tell me how stupid I am because of the iPod thing.


*I've been told that I'm mean. I'm not mean, I'm honest! maybe too honest.. at least I'm not lying!!


*my brother tells me that I'm selfish. all I do is write about myself in my blog. (pause)

I'll give you a minute to digest this idiotic sentence and won't bother saying anything about it.


*I just sneezed. 7amdillah :P

We See Things Not As They Are, But As We Are

I'm sorry that I'm not the person you wanted me to be, I'm sorry that I'll never be that person.
I'm just not strong enough, or smart enough to be like you. I'm sorry. I tried. I really did.. even after all the advice and directions you gave me, I don't know what to do.

I can't be like you, I don't know how to be like you. I'm not like you. I'm not as confident as you are, I'm not wise as you are. I'm not together as you are.

I tried. I really did. And I won't stop trying.. it's just that my trying isn't good enough. It's never good enough, it will never be good enough.. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be this insecure. I can't help it. It's the truth. I'm no longer in denial.

I've tried to be the best I can be. I've tried to make you proud of me. I'm not you, I'm not her, I'm not them. I'm just me. And I don't know if I should be sorry because of it. But I am. I don't know why. I just am.

I'm trying to do everything you want without losing myself, and I already feel like a stranger to myself. You said everything will be ok. Easier said than done. I've already lost myself. I don't even know who I am anymore.

I can't be you. I just.....can't.

Please don't stop loving me because of it. Please

If You Aim At Nothing, You Are Bound To Hit It

ok not to offend anybody here or anything.. but what is wrong with our movies??
they suck!! everytime i wanna go out and watch a movie find there aren't any good ones.. or they're sooo old that i already saw it!!

now i'm not dissing, offending or insulting.. i'm just venting.
i love kuwait.. i adore it! i'm a huge patriot.. but we have sucky movies!! they suck! i hate them..

i'm depressed.. i'm bored.. and i have this big ass cold!! so excuse me if i hurt your precious feelings that i don't give a shit about!!

ok that was mean.. sorry :) i'm just bored and sick

oh and another note.. when you're sick, does it make you forget about stuff?
cause i've been forgetting everything!! so i'm just wondering, is this normal or am i just a freak??
i think i'm just a freak..

P.S feeny 3a6sa min 2 days ago!! and i still haven't sneezed!! every time i feel like i'm finally gonna sneeze, troo7 el 3a6sa o atnarfaz and i become this bitch that everybody hates.. and i should just leave it at that..

UPDATE: I SNEEZED!!! and now i can't stop sneezing -.-

I Think I'm Going To Delete This Blog Because Of This..

so a few days or so ago i was walking in the halls of my school (ga99a) where i see my principal coming in the opposite direction. i thought ' shit busted!'

now the principal is a great friend of my mothers, so she keeps an eye on me which sucks. moving on.

she stops me and asks how i am. blah blah blah. THEN! THEN!! she says the worst sentence in the english vocabulary. she said
"nice blog btw.."

!!!!!!! how! how does she know??

alright my dear reader.. say it with me.. FUCK!!!

I Have A Dream!!!

ok so i am left handed!! and i am proud of it!! my brother is left handed!! i don't know if he's proud of it.. he should be!! anyway..

what makes us so different? we just use our left hand instead of our right.. does that mean we know satan?

we are special! we can multi-task people!! even though right handed people can too.. but that's not the point!!

we are people too.. there's nothing satanic about using our left hands. there's nothing unlucky about writing with our left hands.. right?!

and god damn it we deserve to use knives with our left hands!!

and for crying out loud we have our own day!! (august 13th)

we are known as creative, smart people, now that is a great bonus.
alot of famous left handed people, like:
douglas adams
h.g wells
leo tolstoy
50 cent
eminem
james brown
dick van dyke
r. kelly
dane cook
robert deniro
will ferrell
eddie griffin
lisa kudrow
jay leno
and many many more.. trust me

so all you left handed people out there in the blog world make yourself known!! and lift up your hand and lift up your middle finger and say "fuck you!"

thanks.. mo bes indimajt hehe

sources from : here and here

Everybody Get Down!! *singing off key*

spring break is here people!!
let's shake it and pop it and drop it and kick it.. and break it and whatever you think of..

i am sooo happy to have finished my finals!! all those two weeks with no human contact has left me craving for human contact and wanting reassurance that people are still out there..

this is soo cool.. all my friends and family still have finals and i'm the only one who doesn't..lol 6i7saw bitches!!

anyway i'm still thinking of moving.. especially since FT (010) blocked blogger beta, i thought that's aight i'll just move. and today i realized they unblocked it.. so horay!
if the 3rd strike comes along i might move.. let's hope that doesn't happen..

god you have no idea how much i missed the internet! i've wanted to do so many stuff!! and i will later on

so anyway.. what's up with you reader?

I Think We need To Talk

i have to make this quick before she comes back..

my blog and i have been having some problems.. we can't seem to agree on anything

i try to post a picture and it's says no..
i try to put some music.. it says no..

anything i want to do.. it says no.. :(

so i may break up with my blog and go to wordpress.. do you think i should do that?
i dont know what to do.. i'll have to think about it..

oh shit i gotta go.. the blogs coming.. i seem to be running away from it alot these days..
ciao my fellow reader..

p.s i start finals tomorrow.. i'll be gone till the 16th.
see you then and wish me luck. i need it

Maid "Drama"

i know this is my second post today. i'm sorry.. i'm wasting your time.. whatever!
i'm just so PISSED! who the hell does she think is threatening me?

here's the story. my uncle came for a visit. as a matter or fact he's still in the living room laughing his ass off with my dad.. dad told our maid to make tea.. sahla 9a7? 15 minutes later there's no tea. where's the F*&king tea?
10 minutes later (if you're doing the math, that's 25 minutes since he told them to make) one of our maids comes in (the new one. she's been here for 3 months) dad tells me to see what's up. i go to her to joke with her and next thing i know she starts crying! she tells me that the other maid yelled at her and made everything hard on her because dad told the new one to make tea, not her!
so i'm thinking "she's jealous?" and she starts saying how because there's no sugar she totally flipped out on her and started screaming and shit!
and then she stops and and looks behind me. i turn and see her coming. i followed her and told her to tell me what happened.. and this is what she said:
"Sarah intay la esawe drama"
!!

all this time the tea was waiting.. i told her twadeeh (3nad!) she said no!

i swear to god i was sooo close to slapping her..

i started to tell her enna t3adel eslobha o te7terim nafs,ha. that's when she started threatening us both..

then i threatened her back.. saying that enna ana ba3ad 3indy 3yoon o athoon tisma3 while making the phone sign with my hand.. that's when she shut up and said inshalla (bitch) and mithel el chalba ra7at twady el chay..

elly 9ij ba6 chabdy enna all this was about stupid freaking SUGAR!!

now if you'll excuse me i'm going to scream into my pillow. this post didn't help any..

p.s being nice is a bitch.. don't ever try it. and if you're naturaly nice.. i'm so sorry

It *IS* A Small World

today i just realized that my cousin is a very well liked blogger. i've always read his blog but never really said anything. and today i found out something about that particular blogger and it hit me hard that it's actually my cousin. i never knew he felt what he's feeling. and when i see him next week i will not tell him what i just found out. because it is his private blog and it's not my place to tell him that i know. truth be told, i won't say i understand. i don't think i ever will, and i don't think i really want to.

this is his own way to express the way he feels and i won't stand in his way. i won't comment on his blog, and i'm positive he will never comment on mine or even visit it. and i don't really care.

even after reading his blog he is still a mystery to me, he always was and always will be to me. i don't mind.

my sister's friend is also a blogger and the way i found out is really funny. and she knows i blog too, but she doesn't know it's actually me. she actually commented on my blog once and when i saw her the next day it was like... i don't know.

i always check out their blogs but i will never ever comment or say something.

and having the knowledge that they may never read this, is actually fine. i just wanted to write this because they might read this. and if they figure out who i am (which i doubt) then maybe we'll see what happens.

if they read this.. all i have to say is:
your secret's safe with me :P

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Lights, Camera, ACTION!!!

hello my dear children.. how's life? how's work? or school? or whatever..

we're all good? good :) if you're happy i'm happy..

now the reason that i'm being so up beat today is that i just had a brain fart. a good brain fart..

since i can make DVDs on my laptop now (oh yeah did i tell you? i'm a mac! and i'm soooo lovin' it. 7addy ishtahait Mcdees, mitta a5er marra akalt junk food?) anyway let's get back to business.
where was i? oh yeah! i can make DVDs. and since i started my exams, i thought why not make a movie out of it?
i'm going to make a movie starring moi while i study! how stupid is that! doesn't that qualify as a great brain fart?!

i already had started on the first day. i didn't get much. it was only 50 min. of me studying. (i thought it was enough torture for my future viewers)

and i'll start on the second day on monday? since i have psychology on wednesday -.-..

anyway this post is taking too long and i've been taking too much of your time.
thank you for joining me today, good night and have a pleasent (plaesent? pleesent? how the F%$& do you spell that?!!) tomorrow..

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I don't believe you, when you give me your word.

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I'm Getting Writer's Block :(

my muse has gone M.I.A (what does it stand for anyway?)
i've been wanting to write something- anything, but there's nothing! this has happened alot, but it's never been this long... when was the last time i wrote something useful? (don't answer that..i don't wanna get humiliated)
come back to me.. please?

maybe it's because i've been busy with school and stuff..
i miss writing :/

a demain

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Explain This To Me..

what the hell does this mean? either it doesn't make any sence or my brain isn't working anymore..

"Be not a baker if your head be of butter."

please explain.. thanks

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Bad Joke Bro..

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
click on the picture to see the whole comic.

What the hell is wrong with these people?!
Making fun of people's religion may be funny to you, but it is just very disrespectful to others!

This is not even partially funny! It’s just plain wrong..

dumbasses..

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Technology Bites!!

i hate it now! but i can't live without it..
this week is really depressing! i have done nothing but sleep, sleep and i think more sleep.
my laptop won't work. it broke up with me :( and i really regret not taking care of my baby :(
i love you and i miss you, why won't you come back to me you piece of crap?! but maybe it's a blessing in disguise.. i mean we've been together since 1900 o 76iba! it's really old and it's been broken for a couple of years.. the CD drive is broken and now it decided to break up with me and die.. how convenient
and plus the iPOD is still not fixed! i am in hell! i think i should consider suicide? i cannot live without my music!! i miss youtube.. i miss prison break!! when's the 23rd going to get here?!

now i realize this might not make any sense but it's 5 in the morning!! so cut me some slack. kthanxbie..
and why am i not asleep? i have to get up for school in a few hours..

oh well!! what can i do?
oh yeah have you seen russell peters?? he is hillarious! you should watch him. amazing!

This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong
Who would have guessed it
I will not leave alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late
It's never too late

*SOOOB!!!* oh it's HORRIBLE!!

my iPOD is gooooone!!
i found it today with a broken screen!
oh the horror! how am i supposed to live without my iPOD?!
it's my third on already! i think i'm gonna cry..

my first got stolen (thieves!)

My second one is fine but I had to get a new one cause there wasn't any more space.

And now this! A broken screen!!

I might have a memorial for it.

it was mishmisha II. I'll miss you.

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?

What The F*%$?!

so i downloaded a new template for my blog.. everything is going well.. i find the template that i want... well i found a couple of them..
then!! dumdumduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum! i get this:

We were unable to preview your template

Please correct the error below, and submit your template again.

Your template could not be parsed as it is not well-formed. Please make sure all XML elements are closed properly.
XML error message: The document type declaration for root element type "html" must end with '>'.

HUH?! what the hell does that mean?!
i've been trying to find out how to fix this "problem" but i can't!
i'm so frustrated! how the hell am i supposed to fix this thing?
is it because i use the beta thingy?
does it even have anything to do with beta?
or maybe it's because i'm hopeless..

i thought all you had to do was just copy and paste the codes and voila! you're done!
did anybody have this problem? and if YOU did, how did you solve it? if you did that is..

please help... :'(

UPDATE: it's official..i'm an idiot and thanks to mr. 3baid he made me see that.. thank you for solving my not so difficult dilemma.. you rock! thanks again ;P i didn't use the template that i wanted to use..it didn't look good.. i guess i'll keep looking..

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

it's official!!

(caution: this post is a bitch post...which means i'm pissed and i'm going to bitch about everything and everyone that has irritated me..)

it's official!! i am a doormat!!!
apparently i've always been one, but i just realized this little piece of info. while i was sleeping. and WHY do ppl always call you when you're asleep?

oh right. i forgot.... hey kids. how's life?
good? good. now can we get back to me? thanx :)

now back to the subject at hand... how did i figure this out?.. it happened through a series of events

it all started at 6:30 -ish PM. i had just slept for 5 hours and my mr. bean ring tone goes off under my pillow. i pick up the phone to see who it is and it is my *beloved* sister. can you sense the sarcasim??

SITUATION #1:
Me: "Hmmmm..."
Kambi: "Saroonty..?" at this point i'm totally awake... my sister does not call me that unless she wants something..
Me: "Ughhh.. What do you want Kambi?" getting to the point..
Kambi: "NOTHING! 7aram adeg 3ala e5ty 3ashan asolef weyaha?"
Me: "i guess not.."
Kambi: "good. shino kintay nayma?"
Me: "is it obvious?"
Kambi: "la killish... mita nimtay?" she says sarcastically.
Me: "umm.. i think at 1:30 or something.."
Kambi: "OMG!! are you serious?!!" at this point she is screaming so loud i have to take the phone away from my ear so that it doesn't explode..
Me: ".............."
Kambi: "......................"
Kambi: "nimtay?" she asks after a total minute of silence.
Me: "nope" which was a total lie.
Kambi: "good. so anyway.. can you do me a little favor?"
i knew it!! i knew she wanted something!!
Me: "no."
Kambi: "great. i want you to go to my room and......." and she continues to tell me what to do totally ignoring me..
after a couple of minutes of silence
Kambi: "ha wainich?"
Me: "frashy?"
Kambi: "Sarooooh! yala gomay!" didn't she just call me Saroonty a minute ago?
Me: "fine i'm up!"
Kambi: "good.. yala i'll see you later..." click
Me: "you're... welcome?" but i was saying that to my phone.

okay and now here's what happened about half an hour after i finish what my sister told me. and after i sleep for that same amount of time.

SITUATION #2:
phone rings. i look to see who it is. it's my cousin who's sleeping over. i think he's so F%#$ing lazy cause he's in the other room. i pick up anyway. damn my curiousty...

Me: "speak.."
Cousin: "sarooh"
Me: "haa?"
Cousin: "nayma?" why is everybody asking me this question?! i have a right to rest every once in a while..
Me: "eee"
Cousin: "ollah! gomay!"
Me: "shtaby?"
Cousin: "inzain.. wain o5och?"
Me: "the *6oo6* should i know" don't worry he's my age. hehe
Cousin: "ee gomay shofay wainah"
Me: "are you really that lazy tgoom tshoof wainah?"
Cousin: "you ass! ana ib baitnah!"
Me: "ohh"
Cousin: "yalla goomay abee tharoory" he says tharoory like a girl..
Me: "dude that was so gay, it wasn't even funny.."
cousin: "whatever yalla gomay"
Me: "i'm sleeping"
Cousin: "soo?" and this gave me a look like 'oh no he didn't' all i needed to do then was the neck thing with the finger.
Me: "so no."
and then he begs like the little bitch that he is. which makes me wanna kill myself. so i go and look for my brother. i don't find him. i tell him.. he says the most wrong thing EVER! like "gawd you're so useless" which made me promise myself to step on his stomach (ya3ny adoos eb ba6na :P)
and i go back to sleep only to be waken up by our maid declaring dinner is ready. 'bitch i'm asleep why would i want to eat?'

well that's it.
p.s if this doesn't make any sense to you. then you're not the only one who feels that way.

I don't know how I can face this pain

I'll keep it inside so you can't see

I don't think I can go on this way, 'cause it's not me