so surreal...

i can't believe this is happening.. this is so real... i've never thought this would happen to someone so dear to me..

i'm writing down everything i feel.. no back space i promised that i would write eveything that my fingers type..

i scared..i'm confused.. i'm in denial... i'm frustrated...i'm worried...i'm numb...i'm angry at something i don't even know.

i want to cry...i want to hit something that doesn't exist.. i feel so helpless...i feel so useless.. i want to do something that would make you better.. but there's nothing i can do.. i'm so confused.. this is so surreal.. this can't be happening.... why is this happening? why now? why does this have to happen to someone? why is this happening to you???

i'm so scared.. i'm so lost.. i want to let out my frustration but i don't know HOW!

i just realized how real this is... i've always lived in this bubble where nothing serious would ever happen.. and yet it is happening.. and i don't know what to do..

i want to make you feel better.. but i can't.. everything seems to be happeing in slow motion.. it's not even happening to me and i'm already all over the place... i'm so scared...

this is unbelievable.. i want to cry so bad..but i can't.. i don't know why...i have to be strong..can i for your sake?

eveything is falling apart... it's already happening...

i love you.. you're like my second mother.. please get well..

...i'll pray for you...

And I give it all away

Just to have somewhere

To go to

Give it all away

To have someone

To come home to