Things To Do Before I Die

• Go to a concert. (a real one with tickets and stuff)
• Go surfing.
• Puplish a novel.
• Go on a cruise.
• Meet a famous actor/actress. (preferably one that i like and isn't kuwaiti)
• Have the guts to punch an asshole. (not slap. punch)
• Go sky diving.
• Face my fears.

there are more but i still haven't figured them out ;P

The Perfect Woman.

All day long you would see a smile on her face; all day long you could hear laughter in her voice. She had a special spark that made her stand out in the crowd. Her voice was soft, that when she spoke you can't help but pay attention. Her eyes were windows to her gentle soul that when you looked into them you would drown in them without knowing.

Many men have fallen for her innocence and eyes that seemed to demand attention. What made her so different from other women was how experienced she was in life, and yet she was so naïve that you'd want to protect her from the world.
She thought that everyone was good at heart, she trusted everybody and anything, and she had faith in the world that was so admirable that you'd want to believe.
She was so easily read and yet at the same time extremely mysterious that you would want to know all her secrets. She had so much passion behind those piercing eyes but was held in check the whole time, which made men crave to help release that passion.

She is something that words don't do her justice, she is the topic that writers have tried to write about since the beginning, and she is the muse that poets tried to describe for centuries.

She is a mystery that every man will try to solve.


Does a woman like that even exist??

What Does Your Birthdate Mean?

Your Birthdate: December 11

Spiritual and thoughtful, you tend to take a step back from the world. You're very sensitive to what's going on around you, yet you remain calm. Although you are brilliant, it may take you a while to find your niche. Your creativity is supreme, but it sometimes makes it hard for you to get things done. Your strength: Your inner peace Your weakness: You get stuck in the clouds Your power color: Emerald Your power symbol: Leaf Your power month: November

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

So basically i'm perfect but seriously flawed..

You can't help but love me.

A day on the beach

So I went to the beach today with my sister and friends. Got a mild tan. No burns (thank god). Had a blast! Might go again next week. Don't really know. We'll see til' next week to see what's gonna happen.

Untitled

She walked confidently out of the room, tears in her eyes. Don't cry. You're not gonna cry. Who you kidding? You're already crying…
Heading to the bathroom she opened the door and locked it, and started pacing, Trying to stop the tears from falling, but to no avail. The tears started to fall on their own. She didn't like this feeling, knowing that she couldn't control her own emotions, but that they controlled her. She hated that feeling, because she was always in control.
She continued pacing feeling frustrated about everything; that she was crying for something so small, and that she couldn't do anything about it and because this F#!%ing bathroom is so *tiny*! How am I supposed to move around? There's no space to move! God how I hate this place!
Suddenly she turned around and bent on the ground and grabbed the tissue box, and as she stood up again she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, quickly sitting down on the toilet seat, not bearing to see that person. She felt sick. Who is that girl? Is that really me? What she saw was a teary eyed pathetic version of herself. And after seeing herself like that she started crying all over again. Sobbing quietly, gasping at every intake of air, feeling her tears running down her chin and dropping on her lap.
She had never felt this miserable and ashamed in her life. She's tried. She tried very hard. Not hard enough obviously. Nothing was good enough. Everything she did either was wrong or had a flaw in it. She was never good enough, even though they don't have high expectation. They think that she won't make it. They *know* not think.
She was exhausted both physically and emotionally. She got up and started the water to wash her face. Trying to avoid catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she thought she looked worse than she was before. Her eyes stung and her nose was runny. She finished as quickly as possible and went to dry her face with a towel.
She would try harder and she will make them happy and proud of her. If I have anything to do with it. She got out of the bathroom and made the small walk to her room. She could do it; she could do anything if she put her mind to it.


Or could she?

PARTAY!

alright i'm done with my finals so that only means one thing: summer vacation has begun!
and i won't let anything keep me from making this summer worth remembering.
stay tuned for i will be posting all about my summer.


peace i'm outa here!!

just thought you should know

Here’s the deal. There will be no updating till the 20th because my finals begin on Saturday the 3rd of this month, and I will finish on the 20th.
So I will tell you all about my time studying when I finish.
Here is my schedule:

DATE: - SUBJECT: @ TIME: NOTES: (wi7da-ni9)

Sat. 3/6 - Badaniya @ 8-9:45 Ni9

Tue. 6/6 - English @ 8-12:30 Ni9 (two tests) :'(

Sun. 11/6 - Arabic @ 8-10:12 Wi7da

Mon. 12/6 - Islamiya @ 10:45-13 Wi7da

Wed. 14/6 - 7asoob @ 10:45-13 Wi7da

Sat. 17/6 - Ijtima3iyat @ 8-9:45 Ni9

Tue. 20/6 - Maktabat @ 8-9:45 Ni9 (5ala9! yeah baby!)

My personality type

Your #1 Match: INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

Your #2 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends. You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules. Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives. You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller! You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #3 Match: INFJ

The Protector You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity. Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is. You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience. You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them. You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

Your #4 Match: INTP

The Thinker You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can. Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge. Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat. A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it. You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor.

Your #5 Match: ENFJ

The Giver You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed. Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections. Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down. You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine. You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

What's Your Personality Type?

Doesn't that say something about me? Three of them have something to do with writing...now I'm no Einstein, but I think I should consider writing... :P

Hidden Bruises

You’re a bully.
You’re nothing than a bully who would do anything to get its way.
You think I care what you think?
I don’t. I don’t give a fuck what you do, or think
Do what ever you want to me, say what ever you want to me, cause it’s not gonna bother be
I always say that to myself and I’ll keep on saying that until you realize that you’re ruining my life with you’re words.
Anything you want you go straight to me, you can’t live without me. You want me to help you. You want me to pick you up whenever you’re falling.
I hold you one day, and then the other you’re calling me names and humiliating me!
You try to hurt me in anyway you can and you call it “joking” you’ve been “joking” with me my whole life that right now I’ve grown used to it. I wait for you’re criticism. I’m expecting it. Where is it? I’m waiting for it right now!
The worst thing about it is that you’re the worst kind.
You emotionally bully me!
And when I get angry or upset you turn around and bully me some more in disguise!
You’d say that I don’t have a sense of humor and that I can’t take a joke...
You have a disgusting sense of humor! What you do isn’t even partially funny!
If you keep telling a dog he did something wrong he’ll believe he did something wrong…
Does that mean I’m a dog now?
Heh the funny thing is you don’t yell! It’s the things you say that hurt!
I don’t care anymore!
Do what ever you want, cause I’m not going to listen anymore.
You’ve hurt me countless times all my life. And I’ve cried countless times.
And I’m sure there will be more in the future.
The whole time I’m writing I’m wishing that you don’t stumble upon this, but now I want you to. I’m hoping you read it. I want you to know how you ruined my life.
You’ve abused me verbally and you don’t even know it. I won’t let you see the bruises you gave me…NEVER!
I’ll keep a smile on my face and act like I’m not all broken inside…I’ll let you believe anything I want. Because thanks to you I know how to hide my feelings and not let anyone know how I truly feel about something.
So thanks to you, you made me …you made me into this torn lonely person I am today...
Thank you for ruining my life.


if only i can actually say all this to you're face...

my big speech

I do what I do on purpose.
Don’t think it’s because I'm scared or I have low self-esteem and no confidence.I stay quiet and do everything you want on my own will. I do it because you will never listen to what I have to say, I know that you don’t listen and that you don’t give a fuck for what I have to say. I know your feigning interest for my passion of writing; does it look like I care?
I don’t care what you think! What you say is just sounds that I don’t even have the time or the will to pay attention to, all I hear from you is blah blah blah.
Heh is that what you hear when I talk about writing?
Is that what your reading *right now*?
Well if that’s all your reading then read this:
I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ME OR WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT ME!
Because everything you do says it all, the things you say when I start to tell you what I want to become in the future, when I tell you about my dreams and the goals that I have set for myself. So why should I listen and see you doing things that hurt me?
I’m not going to waste my time seeing and listening to you bitching around and saying things that hurt when I don’t have to, when I could just save my time in doing everything I ever wanted on my own, without your criticism.
I know that I’ll get my turn to speak when I’m older; it’s just a matter of waiting.
So why not wait a few more years till I have my “ 15 minutes of fame” where I will say everything I ever wanted, I’ll know what to say because I would have written everything that I ever wanted to say to you….
I’m writing it right now. And all I know is that when I get the chance to say anything, the first thing I’m going to say is:
“I’m sorry for not being what you’ve always wanted me to be…”

A letter to you

I'm everywhere you go
I'm everything you see
I'm always in your mind
You can't help but think of me
I'm always in your face
You know what you did was wrong
I never let you forget what you did
You try to run away from me
But I'm always behind you
You always try to forget
But I'm always in your thoughts
The only way you can get me to shut up
And stop bothering you
Is to make it all right.

Sincerely,
You're conscious

what you are to me

You are always there
You are always ready to give
You are always generous
You are something that I don't deserve
You are always ready to guide me
You will always be there, I know that now
I don't know what I've done to deserve you
You are my hero
You are my anchor
You are the shoulder that I cry on
You would do anything I ask in a heartbeat
You are my life
You are everything to me
Without you I wouldn't be here
I am at your mercy
I am yours
Because of you, I am what I am today
I don't deserve you
You hold my life in your hands
I dedicate my life to you...my family

a special occastion

today is a special someone's birthday!
duuuuuuude you're sooo old!
2 decades! daaaamn!
well anyway happy birthday.
i hope you're dreams come true and make new friends and keep the old..
since you are old :Pp
happy birthday mumum.. 5la9 that means enna mako present.. ;P

do they work??

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
hehehehehehehehehe....

just testing my letters :Pp

pressure

I feel as if I'm about to explode from this...thing.
I don't know what I want, but what I do know is that I don't want this.
This is too much for me; I can't carry all this weight. My shoulders can't carry all this
I don't know what to do... but I want to do the right thing and I don't know what it is.
You expect me to be perfect that I will do everything with a big smile on my face.
I can't, because I don't know how.
Tell me what to do...don't tell me what you want and not tell me how.
You think it's easy but it's not! Everything is changing, everyone is changing. Including me!
I'm changing I'm not the same person I was a year ago. I'm not capable of doing the things that I did that time, I might be able to do more than that, or maybe I can't at all, I don't know...
all I'm asking from you is to accept me the way I am and hope that I can do everything that you want, I can't guarantee that I can but I will try to make you proud of me.
You're showing me how I could turn out to be in both ways. In a good way, or
the bad way!
And with you doing that you're putting more pressure on me on all of us!
What I'm trying to say is that I want you to give me some space to figure things out and hope for the best.

hell on earth

this past week has been hell for me!
i have never felt so much hatred toward one person!
and it's not over... tomorrow only a part of it will be over
god help me... i just hope i don't stab said person with a pen by the end of the week.
well i'll keep you posted on my week from hell!

end of an era

hey wazup? been a while since i last posted.. but here's something new that i wrote..

The day was warm and the sun was shining bright as it dried everything within its reach from the previous rainy days. And when the land went dry, our eyes and hearts began to rain with sadness and grief from its loss…our father, our leader, our anchor and our guardian perished peacefully, as the sun was rising from the horizon. Leaving behind an army of mourners crying out with emotional pain so intense that could be mistaken for physical pain.
Even though you’re soul is no longer with us, your memory will always be remembered, never to be forgotten by the love and respect that you have received from others. For centuries your name will be remembered not only within history books, but also through stories from people’s memories of you.
We feel you’re presence around blooming flowers, the gentle wind and the falling rain that washes our pain and misery away.
We will feel you’re love and care along side you’re gentle beautiful spirit coursing through the seasons through eternity.
You have devoted your life to making this country what it is today, and it will not go unnoticed as the children become adults who will become doctors, lawyers and business owners.And all of that is because of your integrity you have made us who we are.
Because of your hard work you have made this country safe and beautiful.
And because of that we are all grateful for your generosity, and we feel honored to have had you as our leader.
We’ll miss you.

finaly

here's some news to make your day a little better..
i finaly got my room back!!
i know what your thinking.. back? when was my room taken away?
you see the thing is that my mom's friend came for a visit and she usually stays at our house.. (she's doesn't live in kuwait F.Y.I)
so me and my sister had to move out of our room and last week she left and now i have a room for myself!! it's kinda depressing cause i'm used to living with my sister, but don't worry i go upstairs and visit her everyday ;Pp

questions

If I didn't ask you to stay, you would still be here. With us. And I wouldn't be here crying my heart out. I don't know if I could live without seeing you everyday, but I will. And I am. I still see you, in my dreams, in my thoughts.
I keep telling myself that this is a dream that suddenly turned into a nightmare without me noticing. How much I want it to be a dream, but I know it's real. I don't know how, but I just know.
Everyday I go down the stairs and I expect to see you there. And I ask myself where you are and then I remember that you're no longer there. That you will never be there again.
I feel so hollow and empty and I can't do anything without seeing something that reminds me of you, or hear something that you once said…
I feel like this is just another joke and next thing I know is you'll come over to me and tap my shoulder and say "gotcha!" Why are you not tapping my shoulder?!
You are. Were my best friend. The one that if I had any problems you would advise me on what to do. So tell me what I should do now that you're no longer here?
I feel like I've lost a part of me when you left. Everywhere I go, everything I see reminds me of you.
Because of you all I see is black and white. Because of you I feel incomplete…
All of a sudden nothing matters anymore; I can't taste the food that I don't want to eat, I can't feel the wind on my face.
I don't know if this is something that you're supposed to feel, but this is only a part of what I feel inside. And then all of a sudden I had all these questions
Who am I going to tease when I have nothing to do?
Who is going to tell me the truth when nobody would?
Who am I going to blackmail when I want something?
Who is going to pick me up when I'm falling?
Who is going to replace you if you're not there to answer my questions?
Will I remember how you look like? Sound like? Or even talk like? Or will I completely forget you ever existed?
Will I ever laugh again?
I feel so alone and I ask myself is this how people feel when someone this close leaves you?
I feel so angry at not getting a chance to say goodbye!
Why do I feel so many emotions at the same time and that they don't make any sense?
Why am I afraid of moving on and living my life?If only you were here you would know the answers.

how funny is this?!

here's something that i've found so fucking hilarious and ironic:
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http://www.cartertoons.com/