Thursday, August 17, 2006

Is There Such A Thing As A Happy Ending? (Final Part)

before reading this. please read part1, part 2 & part 3.
--------------------------------

When I step out of the building, I hear thunder in the Far East, a storm. How convenient. I turn right to the place where citizen have to stand to go across the street to the public park. I have to wait for a couple of minutes because of the traffic.

They turn red. Cars start to stop. While I'm crossing the street, I see a guy in a BMW who seems to be scolding his girlfriend maybe? I avert my eyes away from them and keep crossing the street. When I get to the other side of the street I hear the thunder more clearly. It's getting closer. And I forgot my jacket. Damnit. Well I'm definitely not going back to the apartment to him. I guess I'll just freeze to death. No big. My world already fell apart. Dieing won't change anything. I wrap my arms around myself to keep from the cold. And keep moving forward.

I'm in the park now. And I'm surrounded by nature. Trees left and right. Benches every few meters. I've always loved this park. It was a place where I could just sit down and admire the view or just think. I look up at the sky and see that it's turned a dark shade of gray. I don't care. I keep going into the park. I keep walking for a couple of minutes. I get to the road-like thing they made for horses and I walk faster, because two men with horses were coming my way. I walk a few steps and I get to the actual street. There are cars here as well. I turn my head to my apartment and I can clearly see the front door and my window. And I wonder what he's doing. Did he call her and tell her what happened? Or is he breaking up with her? It doesn't matter if he broke it off with her. I'm still not going back to him. I came here to think of what *I'm* going to do. Think about where I'm going to live. That kind of stuff.

I cross the street and keep going forward. I wanted to see where the path would take me if I went with the flow.

Walking in a one lane path I start to look around. Looking at anything worth looking at. I look at my right. I see the streets outside. Cars everywhere. People walking.

I look at my left and I see more trees, but if I look past the trees I can see a field of wheat. With a dog there following what seemed to be some kind of insect that's too small to see, with its owner behind him.

I keep moving. The cold starting to get to me. I think even if I have a coat I'd still feel cold. I now feel cold both in the inside and the outside.

I walk for a few minutes then I see myself in my destination. This is the real park. Grass and old trees with many paths and benches to go with it. I take a deep breath of fresh air.

I look ahead and I see my destination. I see a lake with a lot of benches in front of it. And I start my walk to my destination. While going I see a family having a picnic. With the parents sitting with the adults. One of them with a baby on his lap. With the children running around playing with the family dog. At that moment the raining starts. The adults moan and start to stand and pack up for home. While the kids seemed very happy to play with the rain.

I look up at the sky and close my eyes as I let the rain fall over and cleanse me with its purity. Feeling at the edge of a shiver every time a drop of rain falls on me. I'm completely wet now. But it doesn't matter. I came here to think and I will.

I look at the direction of the lake and I see people moving away from it. At least I now have a place to sit. And I walk to the lake.

When I get to the lake I take a seat at the nearest bench I could find and sit down and stare at the lake. It looks breath taking. With the rain drops falling on it is just something that my explaining it doesn't give it any justice.

What I'm I going to do? I left home because of his work. And I have nowhere to go. I loved him. I gave him everything. I gave up my dreams for him.

My tears start to fall without realizing it. And the rain is getting stronger. And I cry harder. With my tears rolling down my chin and falling on my lap and mixing with the rain. Gasping at every intake of breath. I look up at the sky as if I could find the answer to all my problems. But all I saw was rain drops falling everywhere.

Was it something I did? Or do I just don't deserve a happy ending? Does anybody deserve to have it?

I cry for a few more minutes. I'm freezing from the rain. And I shiver every time a rain drop falls on me. My teeth start chattering and I wrap my arms around myself again.

Something catches my eye and look at my left and I see and old couple sitting close together sharing an umbrella and a laugh at something while staring at the lake.

I smile at that. And they see me staring at them. They smile back and the husband whispers something in her ears and she nods. And at that moment I realized that…

There is such a thing as a happy ending. You just have to be lucky enough to find it.


I didn't think that you'd sell me out
Now I know what you're all about.
You might feel in control of things.
But you're not holding all the strings.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Is There Such A Thing As A Happy Ending? (Part 3)

before reading this part. please read part 1 & part 2. or just scroll down.
--------------------

"Honey let me explain…" began her husband hesitantly.

"I don't think it needs any explaining. Thank you." she said interrupting him.

"Look I just want you to know that it meant nothing to Me." he said with pleading eyes.

"Oh ok. So it's just a dick thing?" she asked.

"Well… yeah, I guess." not knowing what to say.

"You guess… so umm...tell me. How long has...this meaningless affair been going on?" she asked him while at the same time crossed her arms.

"Not long…" he said looking at the ground.

He looked like a school boy who expected to be punished by the principle. She wanted to tell him to grow up. He isn't a boy anymore. She wanted to tell him that he was a man. Getting punished isn't going to be the last of your worries in life. It was always like that with him. He would do anything he wanted and wouldn't take no for an answer. And he wouldn't care about what would happen after doing whatever he wanted.

"That's not good enough, how long?" she asked the floor not wanting to see him.

"I don't know, a couple of months, a year?"

At that she was able to look at him. "A year? You have cheating on me with a twelve year old for a – "she stopped what she was saying when a thought had struck her.

"Ohmigod. Please tell me that you didn't cheat on me because of what happened last year." She begged him to tell her. All of a sudden her eyes started to tear up.

"Please tell I'm wrong. Tell me that it was just a coincidence." she said as she took a couple of steps to stand in front of him. "Is it?" she asked him one more time.

The only answer she got from him was silence.

Suddenly she wasn't upset anymore. She was pissed. And then she slapped him. "You asshole! You insensitive lying asshole!!"

"You cheated on me because I couldn't give you *children*?" her tears were falling on their own now. Her control over her feelings was out the window. And she didn't care anymore. She was hurt. She was humiliated. She was mad. But most of all, she was heartbroken.

All of a sudden the room felt too small. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't stand still. She needed space. She needed to get out of here. To think about what she was going to do. But what she really wanted was to get away from him.

As she walked to the front door. She felt her husband follow her. And he was saying something. She didn't hear what he was saying. She wasn't listening. And her ears felt like they were stuffed with cotton. But some words got through and she heard him saying. "Never do it again… I'm sorry…please…don’t leave … I love you"

As she reached the door. She turned around and held his eyes.

"I love you too. But I don't trust you anymore. And I can't stay married to someone I don't trust, and who's unfaithful."

"Look you can't just leave. We have to talk this through." He said with emotion evident in his voice

"What else is there to talk about? I just… need some space to think…things through.” she said and closed the door.


I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Is There Such A Thing As A Happy Ending? (Part 2)

please before reading this.. please read the first part. to do that scroll down or follow this link
----------------------------

They stood standing staring at each other. Her husband stood there waiting for his queue to start from her.
Her mind seemed to have frozen. She hoped that this was a sick joke that her husband was playing on her, but it seems that it isn’t.

She was staring at her husband. How could you? She kept thinking that this cannot be happening.

“Maybe I should go…” said the woman turning to get her stuff. She finally took a good look at her. She was very young. She stood with confidence. And she was wet, as if she just got out of the shower. Wearing *my* robe…

“Oh no. Stay. Please stay. Stay as long as you want. Have sex with my husband. Wear my clothes. Eat my food. Oh wait a minute. You already did!” she said with eyes blazing.
“Excuse me?!” said the woman wearing the robe. She took a few steps to her, but the husband reached out his hand and held her arm to keep her from taking another step.
“Look maybe you *should* leave…” finally speaking.
“I will go, As soon as she apologizes...” pointing at her while looking up at him.
“APOLOGIZE?!” she said angrily. “APOLOGIZE!” she repeated. “Apologize for what?”
“Apologize for coming home early and ruining your day or forbidden pleasure *with* my husband? Or do you want me to apologize for what I just said to you?!” she said sarcastically.
“Never mind. I’ll just leave.” She kept looking at the ground as if searching for something, then gave up and went out the door.
“Looking for this?” said she as she held up a pale pink under wired bra.
“Uhh…yes. Thank you” she took a few hesitant steps to her and took the bra. She took the garment and left for the room.
“You can keep the robe. I don’t want it.” She said to her.

And then she left them alone to deal.

“And then there were two.” She said to her husband with hard to read eyes.

Die, withdraw
Hide in cold sweat
Quivering lips
Ignore remorse
Naming a kid, living wasteland
This time you've tried
All that you can turning you red

Monday, August 14, 2006

Is There Such A Thing As A Happy Ending? (Part 1)

She came home early one day, wanting nothing but to go to her bed and sleep. She was beyond tired. She was exhausted. As she opened the door to her house she found her husband in nothing but a towel while drying his hair with another.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be at work. Is everything ok?" she asked her husband with concern in her voice.
"Uhh… yeah, everything's fine. I just came back dying to take a shower. Aren't you supposed to be at work too?" he asked hesitantly.
"I was, but I got out early." She said as she walked by him heading for their bedroom.
"You alright?" he asked her as he followed her.
"Yeah I'm just tired." She said as she started unbuttoning her suit. With him watching her with a smile on his face.
"What?" she asked curiously.
"You look nice today." He complemented her with a grin that always made her insides melt with love for him.
"So do you." She told him back with a smile.
"But I'm not wearing anything."
"My point exactly." She said with a teasing smile. As she finished wearing her favorite sweats. She heard him chuckle and felt him sitting behind her on the bed.
"Have you seen my robe?" she asked him while searching for it.
"Uhhh... your robe? No, can't say I have." Shifting in his seat uncomfortably.
"Maybe it's in the wash." She said not thinking about it.

As she started to pick up her clothes from the ground, she found something that made her stop what she was doing, and went to pick it up. As she was standing up. She heard a woman say "Babe I didn't find anything good to eat, so maybe we could order some take….out."


And if somehow fate were in my hands
Would it be enough to understand
Why we feel lost in a world so small
If only love could find us all...

Saturday, August 12, 2006

so surreal...

i can't believe this is happening.. this is so real... i've never thought this would happen to someone so dear to me..

i'm writing down everything i feel.. no back space i promised that i would write eveything that my fingers type..

i scared..i'm confused.. i'm in denial... i'm frustrated...i'm worried...i'm numb...i'm angry at something i don't even know.

i want to cry...i want to hit something that doesn't exist.. i feel so helpless...i feel so useless.. i want to do something that would make you better.. but there's nothing i can do.. i'm so confused.. this is so surreal.. this can't be happening.... why is this happening? why now? why does this have to happen to someone? why is this happening to you???

i'm so scared.. i'm so lost.. i want to let out my frustration but i don't know HOW!

i just realized how real this is... i've always lived in this bubble where nothing serious would ever happen.. and yet it is happening.. and i don't know what to do..

i want to make you feel better.. but i can't.. everything seems to be happeing in slow motion.. it's not even happening to me and i'm already all over the place... i'm so scared...

this is unbelievable.. i want to cry so bad..but i can't.. i don't know why...i have to be strong..can i for your sake?

eveything is falling apart... it's already happening...

i love you.. you're like my second mother.. please get well..

...i'll pray for you...

And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere
To go to
Give it all away
To have someone
To come home to

How It Goes...

Everything can change at a moment's time. One minute you finally adjust to your new life style, and then the other your world falls apart in front of your eyes. One day you're laughing all happy and warm. Then the other you're in your room crying feeling cold, lost and lonely.

Everybody leaves one way or another. Loved ones turn into strangers. You become a stranger to yourself. You don't even know who you are, where you're from. You see everything in a new light. You feel like you're in a play and you don't know your lines, or you memorized someone else's. Everything seems so robotic. You start thinking about things you never thought you'd think about. You start to feel things you never thought you'd feel. Things that mattered to you in the past seem so pointless. Things that used to make you happy now make you miserable beyond belief.

You start to lose hope. You start to learn. You forget how to smile. You forget the sound of your laughter. You stop planning for the future. You start to feel cold all the time. You stop sleeping, in fear that you might see it happen again in your dreams. You stop staying still, so that you wouldn't think about it, cause if you were busy doing something else. It would be better than sitting down and thinking about it constantly. You'd stop talking about how you feel, scared that if you do you'd burst into tears again. You'd try not to cry, because every time you do it seems that your tears would never stop.

Next thing you know you forget how you were before it all happened. You forget how your life used to be. And when you do remember it all seems naïve – childish, or pointless. You start to have responsibilities, obligations. You'd grow up without even noticing it.

Time keeps ticking, and the world keeps on moving, people start to move on and forget and start living they're lives again. And you're still in that place where you think that your life is a play and you're doing it all wrong.

In one moment your life falls apart and you're left with the pieces all around you, with everybody leaving you to deal with it, expecting you to put it back together on your own and forget.

Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down

Thursday, August 10, 2006

it's official!!

(caution: this post is a bitch post...which means i'm pissed and i'm going to bitch about everything and everyone that has irritated me..)

it's official!! i am a doormat!!!
apparently i've always been one, but i just realized this little piece of info. while i was sleeping. and WHY do ppl always call you when you're asleep?

oh right. i forgot.... hey kids. how's life?
good? good. now can we get back to me? thanx :)

now back to the subject at hand... how did i figure this out?.. it happened through a series of events

it all started at 6:30 -ish PM. i had just slept for 5 hours and my mr. bean ring tone goes off under my pillow. i pick up the phone to see who it is and it is my *beloved* sister. can you sense the sarcasim??

SITUATION #1:
Me: "Hmmmm..."
Kambi: "Saroonty..?" at this point i'm totally awake... my sister does not call me that unless she wants something..
Me: "Ughhh.. What do you want Kambi?" getting to the point..
Kambi: "NOTHING! 7aram adeg 3ala e5ty 3ashan asolef weyaha?"
Me: "i guess not.."
Kambi: "good. shino kintay nayma?"
Me: "is it obvious?"
Kambi: "la killish... mita nimtay?" she says sarcastically.
Me: "umm.. i think at 1:30 or something.."
Kambi: "OMG!! are you serious?!!" at this point she is screaming so loud i have to take the phone away from my ear so that it doesn't explode..
Me: ".............."
Kambi: "......................"
Kambi: "nimtay?" she asks after a total minute of silence.
Me: "nope" which was a total lie.
Kambi: "good. so anyway.. can you do me a little favor?"
i knew it!! i knew she wanted something!!
Me: "no."
Kambi: "great. i want you to go to my room and......." and she continues to tell me what to do totally ignoring me..
after a couple of minutes of silence
Kambi: "ha wainich?"
Me: "frashy?"
Kambi: "Sarooooh! yala gomay!" didn't she just call me Saroonty a minute ago?
Me: "fine i'm up!"
Kambi: "good.. yala i'll see you later..." click
Me: "you're... welcome?" but i was saying that to my phone.

okay and now here's what happened about half an hour after i finish what my sister told me. and after i sleep for that same amount of time.

SITUATION #2:
phone rings. i look to see who it is. it's my cousin who's sleeping over. i think he's so F%#$ing lazy cause he's in the other room. i pick up anyway. damn my curiousty...

Me: "speak.."
Cousin: "sarooh"
Me: "haa?"
Cousin: "nayma?" why is everybody asking me this question?! i have a right to rest every once in a while..
Me: "eee"
Cousin: "ollah! gomay!"
Me: "shtaby?"
Cousin: "inzain.. wain o5och?"
Me: "the *6oo6* should i know" don't worry he's my age. hehe
Cousin: "ee gomay shofay wainah"
Me: "are you really that lazy tgoom tshoof wainah?"
Cousin: "you ass! ana ib baitnah!"
Me: "ohh"
Cousin: "yalla goomay abee tharoory" he says tharoory like a girl..
Me: "dude that was so gay, it wasn't even funny.."
cousin: "whatever yalla gomay"
Me: "i'm sleeping"
Cousin: "soo?" and this gave me a look like 'oh no he didn't' all i needed to do then was the neck thing with the finger.
Me: "so no."
and then he begs like the little bitch that he is. which makes me wanna kill myself. so i go and look for my brother. i don't find him. i tell him.. he says the most wrong thing EVER! like "gawd you're so useless" which made me promise myself to step on his stomach (ya3ny adoos eb ba6na :P)
and i go back to sleep only to be waken up by our maid declaring dinner is ready. 'bitch i'm asleep why would i want to eat?'

well that's it.
p.s if this doesn't make any sense to you. then you're not the only one who feels that way.

I don't know how I can face this pain
I'll keep it inside so you can't see
I don't think I can go on this way, 'cause it's not me

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

I pinch...


LOL!
'I want to pinch'
I love that crab! hehehe
did you ever think that you could be this rich?
did you ever think that you would have these hits?

Monday, August 07, 2006

My Hero.

Do you remember the time when all we used to do was hang out with each other?
All day long we’d be together either in my room, or yours. We’d do everything from play video games, cards or just do nothing. We’d watch movies like Grease or Aladdin or Captain Majjid. We had every episode and we’d just watch them the whole day just sitting in front of the screen. You were his biggest fan; you used to say that you’re going to be just like him. And I would believe you, because at that time we thought that we could do everything.

I remember all the trouble we made as kids- In the kinder garden. I still remember the day we escaped from the play ground. The lady who tried to stop us was so mad at you, even though she knew it was my idea, she kept telling you that even though it was my idea it still doesn’t change anything.

I don’t really remember the day you fell from the monkey bars. But all I remember was how terrified and worried I was when I saw the bloody nose. The fall wasn’t even that hard. I still worry about you whenever you go somewhere. I feel like I should be the big sister and you’re the baby brother. Not the other way around.

I still laugh at all the times we played kout, and we would kick everybody’s asses. We still do. Maybe it’s because we cheated so well that the other team never noticed or maybe it’s because they were too busy cheating themselves, we’ll never know.

There are a lot of experiences we had together, but not enough space to write down.

Even though we hardly hang out anymore, we know that whenever somebody’s bored, we could just go to where the other is and just do nothing and enjoy each others’ company. We’re always there for each other.

So to sum up all of this in one sentence:
YOU ROCK!

P.s dude if you’re reading this don’t get too cocky. I can still kick your ass if I wanted to.


And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be

Saturday, August 05, 2006

*POOF* au revoir Brigitte and welcome back Sarah!

as some of you know. this 'challenge' started wed. and ended 1:30 this afternoon!
it is over! i am no longer a f'3ench woman named Brigitte Brin. (sexy name right? *wink wink*)
but i am your normal sarcastic chicka Sarah! (come on admit it. you missed me....not even a little bit? -.-) and i neva felt more at ease then i felt when my alarm went off telling me that i can be myself again.

who's Brigitte Brin? oh she's the french chick i named myself as. who says i'm a Schizophrenic?
damnit Ashley! what did i say about coming out of your corner?!

and who's Sarah? if you don't know who Sarah is then i guess you're lost babes.

anywho, it was really hard being Brigitte, i mean DAMN! i never knew acting as a french woman could be so hard! but i did it and well let's just hope i don't have to be her again ;P

anyvay.. ANYVAY?! oy i guess being french for 3 days is bound to leave a mark.. or maybe it's because i still haven't slept since yesterday? OH WELL!

i'll check up you later kids.

peace i'm outa here!!

IT'S HEEEEREE AND II LIIIKE IIITT! (whooa!!)
if you want to know which song this is, try to figure it out and we'll see who wins :D

Day Two.

(again: to understand this post you must read it in a french accent)

bonjour all!!

today az been a zlo die fo'3 mee. i voke ub at 6 somesing. vhich did not give me a shance to go out anyvhe'3e.

za best newz! my b'3oza is bag!! i aven't seeeen 'im fow seeeeks dies! i neva new ow mush appy i vas to see 'im.

za wo'3st newz! my aza b'3ose'3 juzt vent somevehe'3e wiz 'is f'3iends. :'(

vone comes ze aza goes avay and leaves moi!

so basikaly nosing as appened zat is news wo'3ty.

all of a suddin i vant to see Alladin.. i jus addo'3e jeani! ee iz ela'3ious!!

i sink i'll go to amazon and see if sey ave it.

stay tuned fo'3 za thi'3d and final ent'3y az be-ing a f'3ench woooman!

a demain!

the D the I the D the D the Y the D the I the D it's diddy (saaay whaaaa) it's diddyyy

Friday, August 04, 2006

Day One.

(caution:to understand this post. you must read it in a french accent)

Salut eve'3ybooody!!

todaaay az bien a ve'3y zlow die fo'3 me.. bazically nosing az appened too me.
se'3e waz a pa'3tie zat i vent too. ve ad fun. i shoook my as!
but on sa waay ze'3e i ad a little momant..
zomeone asked to no vhat appens vhen i o'3de'3 food at a '3estu'3ant. vell teknically it iz not a '3estu'3aunt. but a bake'3y, but i don't sink zat vill make a diff'3ence.

he'3e is vat appened:
i vent to vhat's it called? napolian? you know.... CEASA'3!!
so i goo to ceasar to o'3der some pizza fow za pa'3ty. az i get owt off ze ca'3 i am '3eliefed to zee zat zere is noboddy zere. phew!

moi: "ello"
za man: "hello. how can i help you?"
moi: "umm.. i vill ave t'3ee dozenz of pizza" vith a big zmile on mie fase :D
za man: "ok." and goez somevhe'3e.
i look at za woman zat is ztanding se'3e. 3and she as zis look zat sayz: 'vhat is '3ong vis zis pe'3on?' hmm.. i cannot imagine vhat is '3ong wiz mie.
moi: "ow much?"
za woooman: " s'3ee deena'3 and seecks 5ond'3ed"
at za same moment za man came wiz sa pizza.
i take za bag and go out.

befow ve vent ome, i vas sinking of vhat vill appen if we vent to McDonalds and o'3de'3ed. zis iz vhat appened in my mind:

moi: "bonjour. umm.. i vill ave a ambuga.."
za maan: "i'm sorry man. what did you want?" in za squeeky philipino voice.
moi: "a ambuga.."
za maan: "a what?"
moi: "ambuga!" me quiet i'3itaitid. my seeste'3 tu'3ns er head and laughs and i t'3y not to laugh tooo
za maan: "oh! you want a hamburger!"
moi: "yes! zat iz vhat i said - ambuga!"
za maan: "no ma'am it's hamburger."
moi: "ambuga!!" at zis boint i am bissed!
*kamboosh: "7amburrrger!"
moi: "zat is vhat i said- ambuga!!" and now i am ang'3y at er!
both of zem: "hamburger!"
moi: "vhatever! i also vant those vhat do you call zem.. za potatoes?"
za maan: "french fries?"
moi: " vhy do you call zem f'3ench f'3ies? zhey a'3e not even f'3ench!"
za maan: "do you want them ma'am?" he says g'3owing tired.
moi: "you know vhat? just get me a appy meal."

hehe. zhat is vhat i emageen vill appen if we vent to o'3de'3 at McDonalds. but i've been '3ong vonce and i could be '3ong again.

ok i am ti'3ed i shall go to bed.
till tomo'3ow. o'3 todie?

p.s zis soong is in my mind and i cannot stooop singing it. Ma Ma Se, Ma Ma Sa,Ma Ma Coo Sa.

*kamboosh is my siste'3's nick name.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

The Craziest 'Challenge' Ever!

Why oh why did i agree to do this?
i'm definitely regreting accepting this 'challenge'.

my sister and i made this dare or whatever you wanna call it for the weekend.
"what is this 'challenge'?" you ask?
this 'challenge' is that i will only speak english. hmm.. ok that's easy.oh here's the kick: i only speak in a French accent. nothing else for 3 days!

well i gave her something worse- the same thing goes for her. BUT in a Scottish accent!

she accepted. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA (in an evil laugh)
so i'll be speaking like Steve Martin in 'the pink panther' and she'll be speaking like Mel Gibson in 'brave heart'.

this challenge begins today at 9:45 this evening until 1:30 on saturday.
it's going to be a long weekend

the worse thing is that we'll be going out to the movies and lunch, dinner and so on and so forth to see peoples reactions.

don't worry, i will be keeping a diary to tell you of my adventures as a F'3ench woman.

why are we doing this? cause we can!

so if you see two crazy chickas talking in a Scottish and French accent, don't worry. it's just us.
now if you'll excuse me, i have a movie to study.. ;P

Au revoir mes ami!

Friday, July 28, 2006

Take My Breath Away.


this is something that my sister and i saw on the way home in the car and said 'we have to take a picture of this!'
if you look closely, you can see the moon.

Silent Birthday

as of right now it's someones b.day.
who's birthday you ask? well i'd tell you, but i don't think the birthday girl would allow it.
well no big. i guess i won't say any names =P

HAPPY B.DAY GIRL!
how old are you again? a *1/4 of a century
..........wow
anyway,
i hope your dreams come true, and that you have a wonderful life.

wub ya ;P


*a 1/4 century means 25 years for all you stupid ppl. (hey i had to do it. )

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Matrix Style Table Tennis


LOL this is awesome!
it is soooo FUNNY!
you don't need me to explain it to you.. the title explains itself.. ENJOY!
i know i did ; )

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

My Inner Self.


a picture is worth a million words. so now you have 2 million.
what does this say about me? what do you think i'm feeling right now?



Sunday, July 23, 2006

Are You a Romantic or Realistic?

You are a Romantic Realist

Okay, so you fall in the middle.
You know that love isn't like a greeting card...
Yet you can always find a greeting card to describe your feelings.

You are the best of both worlds
Girly yet independent, dreamy yet serious.
Almost any guy can find balance with you.
'nough said.

HELP ME!!

this place is so depressing!!
did i spell it right? it looks wrong..

i need to get out of this place! i have nobody to take me out. the only place i can go is to frexz house.. which i can't go to.. because i have no driver!!

btw what is up with the drivers? they all went back home? what is there like a family reunion this year that we didn't know of? if there is, well i didn't get that memo..

please ppl give me something interesting to do!

and why do i suddenly wanna see Titanic?

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Dadadadaaaaa Dadadaaaaaa (Superman Theme Song)

Went to see Superman Returns.
What I thought of it?
Two words. Awe-some!!
I loved it. It was very funny and very realistic.
Even though I admire Lois for her spunk and confidence. I hated her in the movie, she was a total bitch and was very mean to him, with writing that article "Why the world doesn't need a Superman"

Yeah why don't you say that after he saves you from sudden death. again!

But the movie is still a success to me. Brandon was a good Superman. He did a good job of staying true to the character.
Kevin Spacey was an excellent Lex. he cracked me up! he is soo funny.

I give the movie 5 stars.

But that's only me. ;P

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Parts Of A Dream

Just as the couple in the movie were supposed to 'kiss and live happily ever after' the lights go on. We weren't expecting that, and since we were on edge the whole day we kinda gave out a tiny scream. Now we being: me, Fa6ma and Nawal.

As Fa6ma went over the DVD player to get the CD, I tried to find the case under the chair where Nawal was sitting, I felt her turn and look over her shoulder, she saw someone that I couldn't see, and then waved at that person, Which she then turned around and said "freak" positive that, that person couldn't hear us. That's when I realized she was talking about 6aiba.

6aiba is the same age as I am. And she's always seemed as a nice but lonely girl who just wanted a friend. So with me feeling guilty and heartbroken every time I saw her, made me go and talk to her, and suggest we 'hang out' sometime.
And after my sweet naïve suggestion -that seemed like a great idea at the time- she became my stalker.
I don't know why, but I was always on guard when I was either talking to her or we were in the same room together, and she was always in my line of sight where I could keep an eye on her.
You see the reason why I do this is that whenever she talks to me, she always gave hints that she was unstable. Either she was or maybe I'm just hallucinating because I simply don't trust her.

My hand is still moving under the chair and I feel something solid, I kept touching it, trying to figure out what it was. I finally think it must be it, since it felt solid and square like. As I stand to give Fa6ma the box, 6aiba seems to have found what she was looking for, and waved very enthusiastically. I casually wave back and give her a smile.
"I don't understand why you tolerate her. If she's bothering you, tell her to F%$@ off!" said Fa6ma to me in a low voice.
"Yeah. Min shino 5ayfa? etha gamat et thaygich goleelaha. What's she gonna do?
Kill you?"(Yeah. What are you afraid of? If she's bothering you, tell her. What's she gonna do?kill you?)
joined Nawal. I guess they finally reached the end of their ropes with 6aiba being everywhere I am.
"Shko intaw? Is she stalking you? NO. She's stalking me" (Why do you care? Is she stalking you? NO. She's stalking me.) I said defensively not waiting for their answer to my question.

As we close the TV, DVD and the lights. We head for the door, where 6aiba is waiting for us.
"Hi 6aiba" I say casually when we get close enough she could hear me when we spoke.
"Hi Sarah. Shlonich?" (Hi Sarah. How are you?) Asked 6aiba. Even though she didn't have to since she just saw me four hours ago.
"Zaina, intay shlonich?" (I'm ok. How are you?)I asked back.
"Tamam." (Good.) She replied with a wide smile.
"Hi Nawal. Hi Fa6…ma" 6aiba greeted them, but the only reply she got was a smile –which was from Nawal- and complete silence –which was from Fa6ma-.
"They're a little tired. You know with everything going on" quiet honestly I'm still in shock with the thing that's been killing all the young girls in our town. I already lost my best friend and Fa6mas sister. Manal, if you look closely into Nawals and Fa6mas eyes you can see that they've been crying, but if you look into my eyes you'd see that I haven't shed a tear. I don't know why, maybe because I'm in denial or still in a state of shock.

As 6aiba was telling me that she understood that it must be hard. We heard a very unique roar, and we all went pale from the sound, for we knew what that sound came from. It.
Now I don't know what 'it' actually is, and it seemed nobody knew what it was. I always heard people say 'it' whenever they were talking about it. So I guess it caught on, and they named the monster 'it'. I don't agree with the name. I mean how original the name 'it' is. Very creative.

When I heard the roar, I felt something inside start to happen. I guess I was still in denial and shock because I started to shake. Not from fear or sadness, but from anger.
I mean I was pissed! I don't know where all that pent up anger was hiding but I guess it finally decided to come out.

I think because of Nawal and Fa6mas curiosity and my anger made us all run to go to 'it' in full running mode at the same time, with 6aiba a little close behind.

You could take two ways to get to 'it' you could go up some stairs and stuff –which was longer but much safer- or you could go on the ground where you go into a maze of turns –very much faster but very dangerous-. So I guess you know which way we took. The long one with the stairs, but to our dismay as we went half through the run we found that the stair handles were cut off and that the stair floor had some holes put through them. Half way there Fa6ma sees an opening and jumps to the ground and kept going. One thing you have to know about Fa6ma is that she has no patience.

Even though I am the youngest of the bunch, I am still the most protective. So after making sure that she was alright. I made a promise to myself that after seeing 'it' or doing whatever we are going to do, that I will kill her for almost giving me a heart attack.While I'm still keeping an eye on Fa6ma. I can hear 6aiba trying to keep up with us.
And when I look over to see where Fa6ma was, I find that she has disappeared. That's when my stomach drops with fear for her.
"Wain ra7at Fa6ma?"(Where's Fa6ma?) I ask Nawal with fear evident in my voice.
"She had to take a different route so that she would get there before us" replied Nawal.
"And why would she want that?" I screamed at her.

As Nawal was going to answer me, we heard a scream. A more feminine scream. And then we knew that Fa6ma just met 'it'.We try to run faster. My heart is beating so hard from fear of what I'm thinking that I feel like my chest is going to explode, and my lung is so expanded that I don't think there's room for more. 6aiba is still behind me and Nawal is next to me. I've never seen her run like this before, but I don't have time to think about that, my cousin is probably dying twenty eight feet away from me.

I hear something behind me, and when I look back I see 6aiba smiling like it was charismas eve.
"Ma sima3t. Shino giltay?"(I didn't hear you. What did you say?) I ask her.
"La t5afeen 3alaiha. This is a good thing."(Don't worry about her. This is a good thing.) She replies cheerfully.

We're a couple of feet from where 'it' and Fa6ma are. And I stop to stare at 6aiba who stopped too and bent over to catch her breath, while I continued to stare at her. I could hear Nawals foot steps and saying something to Fa6ma then running to help her. All the while I stood to keep looking at 6aiba.
"What do you mean it's a good thing?" now I'm really thinking that I'm right. She is a psycho.
"I mean this is what they.. we wanted. That this is revolution. That the world is changing for the better. It's cleansing itself by taking the bad out." She said to me like this all made sense and I now know that she has lost her mind.
"So you're saying it's like taking out the trash?"
"Exactly! So you understand why this is happening, right?" she said taking a step towards me.
I take three steps back and slap her hand away from my hand. By the time I took my third step I saw 'it' holding Fa6ma and throwing Nawal right behind me. I see 6aiba going to help 'it', so I grab her hand from letting her taking another step. She turns around and looks at me with such a scary face that I thought of letting go of her hand. "Let go of my hand Sarah." I was seriously thinking of letting go but then I heard Nawal scream for me to help Fa6ma. I looked over to see her, and I find out that 'it' just had its dinner.

I never thought that I could be madder then I was back then. Then out of the blue 6aiba started to pull her hand away, and I pulled her to me and held both her hands. She kept on pulling until she slipped on something. Probably sand and we fell to the ground with me on top.And then out of nowhere she punches me. And I was thinking the bitch! And then we started fighting in front of 'it' which looks disgusting by the way.

Of course after some time I was going to become on top, but that didn't stop me from anything I kept punching and kicking and scratching. Then I stopped. With my hands put on her hand while sitting on her I looked over at Nawal. Where she was doing god knows what.
"Was that you?" I ask her.
"No it wasn't" she said with a little questioning in her voice.
That's when I felt shaking from under me. I look down and I see the bitch trying not to laugh out loud.
"What's so funny?" I ask her angrily.When I look at my left I see some girl come out from under the ground.
"Erika knows how I feel. Don't you Erika?" and there I was thinking could she be vaguer?
"ERIKA!" screams Nawal while running to Erika.
And I'm just siting there trying to figure out who the hell Erika is.


THE END?

Monday, July 17, 2006

What Color Is Your Aura?

Your Aura is Yellow



Your Personality: Life's too short not to have fun. Your bright energy brings joy and laughter to those around you.



You in Love: A total flirt, you need a lot of freedom to play. But you'll be loyal to that one man who makes you feel safe.



Your Career: You love variety in a job, and you probably won't stick with one career. You would make a great professor, writer, or actress.

is that what i think it is?

it says i would make a great writer?

i think that's a sign... ;P

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The Advantages Of Teaching

Sitting in her comfortable chair, Vanessa Williams kept flipping through the TV not interested in anything in particular. After a while she stood up and went to the kitchen for a glass of water. Vanessa was a 44 year old teacher. She taught English in the local high school. She'd been a teacher for 22 years. Being a teacher had its moments, though these moments don't seem to happen for a long time. It seems that children these days don't seem to want to learn. She had no problem if some kid didn't want to get an education; it was their future, not hers. But disrespecting the teacher is another thing. She had never in her 22 years of teaching wake up one morning and hope that the day would end quickly.

As she was walking over to the sink to clean her glass she heard her door bell ringing. She put her glass in the sink, leaving it to clean later. She walked to her front door and opened it. She felt something dropping on her foot, and soon found that it was a small box that was leaning on the door, so that when opened, it would drop in front of her. As she picked up her package she lifted her head to see who gave her the box, but she didn't get a good look at the woman who gave her the package, because the woman was wearing sunglasses and was in her car driving away.

Going into the house she opened the box and took out a piece of paper on top of a book. The paper said:

"I dedicate this book to you, Mrs. Williams. Thank you for your advice, guidance and encouragement. I owe you everything."

She turned the page looking for the name of who wrote this note as well as who gave her this package, but found nothing.
She took the book out of the package and read the title of the book. It didn't seem familiar. And after reading the authors name Vanessa's eyes widened as the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle all came together.

She smiled as her eyes filled up with tears. She suddenly remembered the reason why she became a teacher. It was because she was able to influence the future with her guidance and encouragement.

Teaching definitely had its moments. And seeing one of your students name on a best selling book is one of them.

Monday, July 10, 2006

The World Cup Is Italian.

And I couldn't be more happier!
i was rooting for italy to win. even though what they said to Zidane is very very bad, and i don't blame him for doing what he did. it's still not an excuse to hit the guy in the chest. especially with your head!
but we won!
i was happy the whole day.
till i saw this big ass bruise on my hip!
i was running to the TV since my friend said that they're showing the game on KTV (who suck! ) and hit the table. (i'm a clutz. bite me!)

on another note... what is up with KTV??
do they think it's funny to show the first half and then not show the second half?
the second half is the more important half!
if you wanna bum the audience just don't air the most important game in the world cup =/

i spent the whole time *reading* the game on http://www.livescore.com

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Let The Games Begin

Okay so me and my best friend started this competition so that we could waste our time with something.

What we do is write a word (our names) on a piece of paper. And who ever writes the most wins!!
Isn't it a neat idea?

Ok i know it's stupid, but it's to spend our time with something and to look forward to something. Winning!! Since me and her are very competitive. (Even though we wouldn't admit it)

And here are the rules:

  • The size of paper must be A4.
  • The paper must contain 20 names.
  • The names must be written in bubbles.
  • The 20 names must be colored.

These are the four simple rules and this competition will end the day school starts. So that means we have alot of time on our hands. ;P

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Things To Do Before I Die

  • Go to a concert. (a real one with tickets and stuff)
  • Go surfing.
  • Puplish a novel.
  • Go on a cruise.
  • Meet a famous actor/actress. (preferably one that i like and isn't kuwaiti)
  • Have the guts to punch an asshole. (not slap. punch)
  • Go sky diving.
  • Face my fears.

there are more but i still haven't figured them out ;P

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

The Perfect Woman.

All day long you would see a smile on her face; all day long you could hear laughter in her voice. She had a special spark that made her stand out in the crowd. Her voice was soft, that when she spoke you can't help but pay attention. Her eyes were windows to her gentle soul that when you looked into them you would drown in them without knowing.

Many men have fallen for her innocence and eyes that seemed to demand attention. What made her so different from other women was how experienced she was in life, and yet she was so naïve that you'd want to protect her from the world.
She thought that everyone was good at heart, she trusted everybody and anything, and she had faith in the world that was so admirable that you'd want to believe.
She was so easily read and yet at the same time extremely mysterious that you would want to know all her secrets. She had so much passion behind those piercing eyes but was held in check the whole time, which made men crave to help release that passion.

She is something that words don't do her justice, she is the topic that writers have tried to write about since the beginning, and she is the muse that poets tried to describe for centuries.

She is a mystery that every man will try to solve.


Does a woman like that even exist??

Sunday, June 25, 2006

What Does Your Birthdate Mean?

Your Birthdate: December 11

Spiritual and thoughtful, you tend to take a step back from the world.
You're very sensitive to what's going on around you, yet you remain calm.
Although you are brilliant, it may take you a while to find your niche.
Your creativity is supreme, but it sometimes makes it hard for you to get things done.

Your strength: Your inner peace

Your weakness: You get stuck in the clouds

Your power color: Emerald

Your power symbol: Leaf

Your power month: November
So basically i'm perfect but seriously flawed..
You can't help but love me.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

A day on the beach


So I went to the beach today with my sister and friends. Got a mild tan. No burns (thank god). Had a blast! Might go again next week. Don't really know. We'll see til' next week to see what's gonna happen.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Untitled

She walked confidently out of the room, tears in her eyes. Don't cry. You're not gonna cry. Who you kidding? You're already crying…
Heading to the bathroom she opened the door and locked it, and started pacing, Trying to stop the tears from falling, but to no avail. The tears started to fall on their own. She didn't like this feeling, knowing that she couldn't control her own emotions, but that they controlled her. She hated that feeling, because she was always in control.
She continued pacing feeling frustrated about everything; that she was crying for something so small, and that she couldn't do anything about it
and because this F#!%ing bathroom is so *tiny*! How am I supposed to move around? There's no space to move! God how I hate this place!
Suddenly she turned around and bent on the ground and grabbed the tissue box, and as she stood up again she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, quickly sitting down on the toilet seat, not bearing to see that person. She felt sick. Who is that girl? Is that really me? What she saw was a teary eyed pathetic version of herself. And after seeing herself like that she started crying all over again. Sobbing quietly, gasping at every intake of air, feeling her tears running down her chin and dropping on her lap.
She had never felt this miserable and ashamed in her life. She's tried. She tried very hard. Not hard enough obviously. Nothing was good enough. Everything she did either was wrong or had a flaw in it. She was never good enough, even though they don't have high expectation. They think that she won't make it. They *know* not think.
She was exhausted both physically and emotionally. She got up and started the water to wash her face. Trying to avoid catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she thought she looked worse than she was before. Her eyes stung and her nose was runny. She finished as quickly as possible and went to dry her face with a towel.
She would try harder and she will make them happy and proud of her. If I have anything to do with it. She got out of the bathroom and made the small walk to her room. She could do it; she could do anything if she put her mind to it.


Or could she?

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

PARTAY!

alright i'm done with my finals so that only means one thing: summer vacation has begun!
and i won't let anything keep me from making this summer worth remembering.
stay tuned for i will be posting all about my summer.


peace i'm outa here!!

Thursday, June 01, 2006

just thought you should know

Here’s the deal. There will be no updating till the 20th because my finals begin on Saturday the 3rd of this month, and I will finish on the 20th.
So I will tell you all about my time studying when I finish.
Here is my schedule:

DATE: - SUBJECT: @ TIME: NOTES: (wi7da-ni9)

Sat. 3/6 - Badaniya @ 8-9:45 Ni9

Tue. 6/6 - English @ 8-12:30 Ni9 (two tests) :'(

Sun. 11/6 - Arabic @ 8-10:12 Wi7da

Mon. 12/6 - Islamiya @ 10:45-13 Wi7da

Wed. 14/6 - 7asoob @ 10:45-13 Wi7da

Sat. 17/6 - Ijtima3iyat @ 8-9:45 Ni9

Tue. 20/6 - Maktabat @ 8-9:45 Ni9 (5ala9! yeah baby!)

Sunday, May 21, 2006

My personality type





Your #1 Match: INFP




The Idealist

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.

You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.


Your #2 Match: ENFP




The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!

You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.


Your #3 Match: INFJ




The Protector

You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.
Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.
You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.
You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.

You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.


Your #4 Match: INTP




The Thinker

You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can.
Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge.
Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat.
A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it.

You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor.


Your #5 Match: ENFJ




The Giver

You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.
Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.
Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.
You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.

You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.



Doesn't that say something about me? Three of them have something to do with writing...now I'm no Einstein, but I think I should consider writing... :P

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Hidden Bruises

You’re a bully.
You’re nothing than a bully who would do anything to get its way.
You think I care what you think?
I don’t. I don’t give a fuck what you do, or think
Do what ever you want to me, say what ever you want to me, cause it’s not gonna bother be
I always say that to myself and I’ll keep on saying that until you realize that you’re ruining my life with you’re words.
Anything you want you go straight to me, you can’t live without me. You want me to help you. You want me to pick you up whenever you’re falling.
I hold you one day, and then the other you’re calling me names and humiliating me!
You try to hurt me in anyway you can and you call it “joking” you’ve been “joking” with me my whole life that right now I’ve grown used to it. I wait for you’re criticism. I’m expecting it. Where is it? I’m waiting for it right now!
The worst thing about it is that you’re the worst kind.
You emotionally bully me!
And when I get angry or upset you turn around and bully me some more in disguise!
You’d say that I don’t have a sense of humor and that I can’t take a joke...
You have a disgusting sense of humor! What you do isn’t even partially funny!
If you keep telling a dog he did something wrong he’ll believe he did something wrong…
Does that mean I’m a dog now?
Heh the funny thing is you don’t yell! It’s the things you say that hurt!
I don’t care anymore!
Do what ever you want, cause I’m not going to listen anymore.
You’ve hurt me countless times all my life. And I’ve cried countless times.
And I’m sure there will be more in the future.
The whole time I’m writing I’m wishing that you don’t stumble upon this, but now I want you to. I’m hoping you read it. I want you to know how you ruined my life.
You’ve abused me verbally and you don’t even know it. I won’t let you see the bruises you gave me…NEVER!
I’ll keep a smile on my face and act like I’m not all broken inside…I’ll let you believe anything I want. Because thanks to you I know how to hide my feelings and not let anyone know how I truly feel about something.
So thanks to you, you made me …you made me into this torn lonely person I am today...
Thank you for ruining my life.


if only i can actually say all this to you're face...

Saturday, May 13, 2006

my big speech

I do what I do on purpose.
Don’t think it’s because I'm scared or I have low self-esteem and no confidence.I stay quiet and do everything you want on my own will. I do it because you will never listen to what I have to say, I know that you don’t listen and that you don’t give a fuck for what I have to say. I know your feigning interest for my passion of writing; does it look like I care?
I don’t care what you think! What you say is just sounds that I don’t even have the time or the will to pay attention to, all I hear from you is blah blah blah.
Heh is that what you hear when I talk about writing?
Is that what your reading *right now*?
Well if that’s all your reading then read this:
I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ME OR WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT ME!
Because everything you do says it all, the things you say when I start to tell you what I want to become in the future, when I tell you about my dreams and the goals that I have set for myself. So why should I listen and see you doing things that hurt me?
I’m not going to waste my time seeing and listening to you bitching around and saying things that hurt when I don’t have to, when I could just save my time in doing everything I ever wanted on my own, without your criticism.
I know that I’ll get my turn to speak when I’m older; it’s just a matter of waiting.
So why not wait a few more years till I have my “ 15 minutes of fame” where I will say everything I ever wanted, I’ll know what to say because I would have written everything that I ever wanted to say to you….
I’m writing it right now. And all I know is that when I get the chance to say anything, the first thing I’m going to say is:
“I’m sorry for not being what you’ve always wanted me to be…”

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

A letter to you

I'm everywhere you go
I'm everything you see
I'm always in your mind
You can't help but think of me
I'm always in your face
You know what you did was wrong
I never let you forget what you did
You try to run away from me
But I'm always behind you
You always try to forget
But I'm always in your thoughts
The only way you can get me to shut up
And stop bothering you
Is to make it all right.

Sincerely,
You're conscious

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

what you are to me

You are always there
You are always ready to give
You are always generous
You are something that I don't deserve
You are always ready to guide me
You will always be there, I know that now
I don't know what I've done to deserve you
You are my hero
You are my anchor
You are the shoulder that I cry on
You would do anything I ask in a heartbeat
You are my life
You are everything to me
Without you I wouldn't be here
I am at your mercy
I am yours
Because of you, I am what I am today
I don't deserve you
You hold my life in your hands
I dedicate my life to you...
my family

Thursday, April 27, 2006

a special occastion

today is a special someone's birthday!
duuuuuuude you're sooo old!
2 decades! daaaamn!
well anyway happy birthday.
i hope you're dreams come true and make new friends and keep the old..
since you are old :Pp
happy birthday mumum.. 5la9 that means enna mako present.. ;P

Sunday, April 23, 2006

do they work??

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
hehehehehehehehehe....

just testing my letters :Pp

Friday, April 21, 2006

pressure

I feel as if I'm about to explode from this...thing.
I don't know what I want, but what I do know is that I don't want this.
This is too much for me; I can't carry all this weight. My shoulders can't carry all this
I don't know what to do... but I want to do the right thing and I don't know what it is.
You expect me to be perfect that I will do everything with a big smile on my face.
I can't, because I don't know how.
Tell me what to do...don't tell me what you want and not tell me how.
You think it's easy but it's not! Everything is changing, everyone is changing. Including me!
I'm changing I'm not the same person I was a year ago. I'm not capable of doing the things that I did that time, I might be able to do more than that, or maybe I can't at all, I don't know...
all I'm asking from you is to accept me the way I am and hope that I can do everything that you want, I can't guarantee that I can but I will try to make you proud of me.
You're showing me how I could turn out to be in both ways. In a good way, or
the bad way!
And with you doing that you're putting more pressure on me on all of us!
What I'm trying to say is that I want you to give me some space to figure things out and hope for the best.

Monday, April 17, 2006

hell on earth

this past week has been hell for me!
i have never felt so much hatred toward one person!
and it's not over... tomorrow only a part of it will be over
god help me... i just hope i don't stab said person with a pen by the end of the week.
well i'll keep you posted on my week from hell!

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

end of an era

hey wazup? been a while since i last posted.. but here's something new that i wrote..

The day was warm and the sun was shining bright as it dried everything within its reach from the previous rainy days. And when the land went dry, our eyes and hearts began to rain with sadness and grief from its loss…our father, our leader, our anchor and our guardian perished peacefully, as the sun was rising from the horizon. Leaving behind an army of mourners crying out with emotional pain so intense that could be mistaken for physical pain.
Even though you’re soul is no longer with us, your memory will always be remembered, never to be forgotten by the love and respect that you have received from others. For centuries your name will be remembered not only within history books, but also through stories from people’s memories of you.
We feel you’re presence around blooming flowers, the gentle wind and the falling rain that washes our pain and misery away.
We will feel you’re love and care along side you’re gentle beautiful spirit coursing through the seasons through eternity.
You have devoted your life to making this country what it is today, and it will not go unnoticed as the children become adults who will become doctors, lawyers and business owners.And all of that is because of your integrity you have made us who we are.
Because of your hard work you have made this country safe and beautiful.
And because of that we are all grateful for your generosity, and we feel honored to have had you as our leader.
We’ll miss you.

Friday, March 03, 2006

finaly

here's some news to make your day a little better..
i finaly got my room back!!
i know what your thinking.. back? when was my room taken away?
you see the thing is that my mom's friend came for a visit and she usually stays at our house.. (she's doesn't live in kuwait F.Y.I)
so me and my sister had to move out of our room and last week she left and now i have a room for myself!! it's kinda depressing cause i'm used to living with my sister, but don't worry i go upstairs and visit her everyday ;Pp